Page 54 of Yours to Break

“I didn’t ask you to!” I snapped, tears threatening to fall.

“No,” Hudson said, “but you needed someone to. You need us, Oliver.”

And God help me, something cracked inside my chest at that. I didn’t know if it was rage or grief or longing. I just knew it hurt.

“You kept waiting for someone to want you, but eventually you gave up hope, convinced yourself that it was fine,” Hayes whispered. “You think we don’t notice how you look at us like you’re trying to determine whether or not to listen to us when we praise you? The way you look when we tell you that you’re ours? That hopeful, desperate, terrified look?”

My throat tightened as my vision blurred from the tears that couldn’t be held back any longer. I let out a wounded sob.

“We don’t need you to be perfect, we just need you,” Hudson proclaimed.

I hated them so much.

I hated them for knowing exactly what to say.

I hated them for meaning it, maybe.

I hated myself more for wanting to believe it.

I hated… I hated that I loved them.

Fuck.

* * *

“I didn’t want this! I didn’t ask for you to need me! If that’s even the truth,” I shouted, the words breaking out of me like a dam bursting. “I didn’t want you to fucking kidnap me! I didn’twantany of this!” My voice echoed in the room, loud and messy. My hands were tightly clenched fists at my sides, fingernails digging into my palms, trying to ground myself in the small bite of pain.

Hayes and Hudson didn’t move. They just stood there, watching me unravel, like they’d been waiting for this outburst.

I laughed, sharp and bitter. I sobbed, “You think you know me? You think just because you’ve stared at me long enough, touched me enough, fucked me enough, that you canreadme? You can’t! You don’t know what it’s like to always be invisible. To be tolerated instead of loved. Lane—” My voice broke. “Lane made me feel like I mattered… Until he didn’t. And I—” I looked up at them with what I’m sure was a pitiful expression, my face hot where my tears had tracked down my cheeks, my chest so tight it felt like I couldn’t take a full breath. “And you—you’re no better. Y-you treat me like I’m some toy you’re waiting to break. Like you’re just bored, and I’m the most interesting distraction in the room. And Ihate—I hate that I want you to mean it when you look at me like that. Like I’m special.”

My voice cracked into something smaller. “I don’t want to love you.” Silence fell. And then, softer, more broken, I whispered, “But I do.”

I knew as soon as the words had slipped through my lips that I wasn’t going to hear them back, but it still hurt like hell.

I shut my eyes as tight as I could, knowing that if I looked at them and saw anything akin to pity or disgust or amusement, I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

I felt fingers hovering just near my cheek. “You think we’re bored?” Hayes asked quietly. “Do we look bored, sweetheart?”

Hudson stepped in behind me, his voice low. “You think we’d waste this much time on a toy?”

There was no mockery in their voices—no laughter. That should’ve made it better, but it didn’t. It made it feel like I was drowning.

“We don’t want you because you’re easy, or we would’ve gotten tired of you after you rejected us the first time,” Hayes said. “You may be our pet, but that doesn’t mean this is some game, some scene at a club that doesn’t mean anything. No one has ever made us feel the way you make us feel. We’ve never fuckingcaredabout anyone other than ourselves and maybe Grey. Why can’t you get that through your head, precious? This is real.”

“You tore yourself open just now, baby. Let us make it better. Let’s get you back in your pup gear. That’s probably why you’re feeling so unstable. We’ll get your favorite plug in you, watch one of those animal movies you like. You can curl up on us, have a nice thick cock on your tongue. That’s what you need,” Hudson coaxed.

My bottom lip trembled. That did sound nice. I loved how warm and fuzzy my head felt when I warmed their cocks. If I just did that and said yes, then I wouldn’t have to feel this pain. They’d take care of me.

Hayes’s voice dipped as he stroked his hand lightly against my face. “Oh, Ollie. You’ve so beautifully shattered for us, haven’t you? You’re absolute perfection.”

My stomach turned suddenly.

I took a step back. And then another.

Hayes let his hand drop, but he didn’t move away. “Don’t run. Not when you finally gave us your heart.”

And that was the moment IknewI had to run.

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