Page 17 of Beautiful Scars

He tilts his head slightly and softens his voice as he speaks. "I do trust you, but, what I want, Sunny, is for you to pick a direction for us to head in. That's it. My fate is in your hands."

I bite my lip, still unsure about what I should do. A part of me screams that I should turn around, keep doing what I've always done, stick to the things that have kept me mostly safe and gotten me this far. Pretend the last few minutes never happened.

There’s another part of me—a quiet, dangerous part—that whispers maybe things could be different. That voice is reckless though. It’s a voice that always gets me hurt. A voice that’s been wrong before.

But as Levi waits, patient and unshaken, something in me gives way just a little. Just enough. I take a deep breath, release it slowly.

"Okay, fine. Let’s go."

As we walk, side by side, following the sidewalk as it twists and turns its way to the front doors, I realize for the first time in a long time that I'm not holding my breath. The dread I was feeling just a few minutes ago is still there but it's not quite as suffocating.

I glance up at Levi and for one tiny moment I feel something I haven't felt in a long time. Gratitude. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Icanactually make it through today.

Chapter Ten

Levi

Sunnycomestoanabrupt halt right outside the double doors that lead inside. She closes her eyes, holds her face up to the sky, takes in a deep breath and holds it. She's a nervous wreck. There can't possibly be anything on the other side of these doors that'sthatbad. I have her back. She'll see that soon enough. Exhaling loudly, with a hint of resignation, she says, "Let me see your schedule. I'll help you figure out where you're going."

I take the folded-up piece of paper out of my pocket and before I can hand it to her, she snatches it out of my hand and begins studying it. She's shaking.

She was right. Partially. I don't really need her help figuring out anything. Practices have been going on for over a month now and there isn't an inch of this entire place I haven't checked out. I know it like the back of my hand.

Her face scrunches with the same look of concentration she gets when she's reading. It's adorable and I can't help but smile. When she lifts her gaze to minesheis definitely not smiling. Her face is clouded with what looks like disappointment.

"We both already missed our first class, but your second one is the same as mine."

"Great! I—"

Sunny's expression turns even more sour, and the sarcasm is thick in her voice. "Yeah. Great."

Her eyes are shiny and her cheeks are flushed, and if I didn't know better I'd say she's about to start crying.

"You know, maybe we should just go in separately. It might be easier that way. For you. You don't needmeto show you around. Again, I'm sure you'll have plenty of volunteers once you get in there. You should go. Seriously."

What could be so awful on the other side of those doors? I mean, it can't all be me. I know I make her uncomfortable, but there's nothing to be done about that right now. Time is the only cure for that. Time and patience, both of which I have plenty of. But, I'm not going anywhere today without her. She needs to know she can't get rid of me that easily.

"Sunny. You're starting to make me think you're embarrassed to be seen with me. I'm not going anywhere without you. You said you'd show me around and I'm holding you to it. Now, come on. Let's get inside," I say as I grab the handle of the door and pull it open.

She pauses and stares at me blankly for a moment before she speaks. "Fine. But, this is a bad idea. Don't say I didn't warn you," she says in a serious tone as she steps inside.

Making our way up the stairs, we start down the hall just as the bell rings and people start pouring out of the classrooms. It's the expected, typical first day of school chaos, but, as we ease our way into and begin navigating through the traffic in the hallway, it becomes obvious that something isn't right.

The hallway is packed, but people are giving us way too much room. They can't seem to get out of our way fast enough. It's impossible to ignore the steady stream of whispers and snickers that seem to erupt and follow us as we pass. As if those things weren't unsettling enough, I'm starting to feel like a monkey in a cage with all of the gawking and staring that's going on. It's unnerving.

Almost every single one of these faces has been atmyhouse, drinking upmybeer, enjoying themselves onmytime, but there isn't one of these fuckers that'll look me in the eyes right now. If I didn't know better, I'd swear we crossed an invisible border and landed smack in the middle of enemy territory. I saywe,but I know it's not me who's attracting all of this attention. It's Sunny. Sunny’s the one wearing the target.

I understand now why it took her so long to decide if she wanted to do this or not. Why she was dreading walking through those doors. I gotta hand it to her. She's tougher than me. If I were in her shoes, I don’t think I would’ve done it. Not if I knew this is what I had to look forward to. There's no way I'd put myself through this willingly.

But, she did. She knew what was waiting for her and, here she is. Next to me. And as awful as it is right now, I wouldn't have it any other way. I don’t know if my being next to her is making it any easier or better for her though. I can hear my name in at least half of the whispers as we pass. But at least she’s not alone.

God, I hate these assholes.

To her credit, Sunny's staying close to me as we walk. She’s keeping her head held high and matching my stride like she doesn't have a care in the world. To most people it'd look like none of this was bothering her. But, most people probably wouldn't notice the way her fingers are wrapped so tight around the strap of her backpack that her knuckles are white. Or the way she's chewing non-stop at the inside of her cheek.

I'm impressed. Not everyone could stand up to all this bullshit, but, she's not giving them anything. Nothing.

I give her a silent'Atta girl'as we keep moving down the hall. I, on the other hand, am not nearly half as cool as her. I can feel my face twist in disgust, and my body tense as anger starts to settle in. I make a mental note of each and every sneer, stare, and comment, imagining how good it's going to feel to put each one of these fuckers in their place.

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