Page 20 of Beautiful Scars

"Tell me about him."

I don't know what to say or where to start. It's been years since anyone's asked about my dad. He was gone an entire week without checking in before my mom started to worry. It was another week before she reported him missing. Within a week or two after that Garrett had moved in and it was like he'd never existed. Not to anyone but me.

I wasn't allowed to talk about him anymore. All of the pictures with him in them were taken off the walls. The scrapbooks and photo albums were picked clean. It was scary how easily he was erased. I still don't understand what happened or why.

"There's not a lot to say. He was a good guy. Smart. Funny. Kind. You know. All the things people say about someone once they're gone." I wiggle my toes and close my eyes.

I can feel Levi watching me. Waiting. "He was my favorite person. But obviously, I didn't really know him. He was gone a lot for work."

I sigh deeply. It feels strange to be talking to someone like this. "He wasn't who I thought he was. I mean, I'm sure you've heard the stories. About the kind of people he worked for. So, I guess when it comes down to it, he was either the horrible person everyone says he was and deserved whatever happened, or he was the horrible person who walked away from his family and didn’t look back. Either way, it doesn't say much about him."

Levi's voice is quiet when he speaks. "No one's perfect Sunny. Most people are more than one thing. He could've been the person you remember, but maybe he was a few of the other things too."

I open my eyes slowly and look out over the lake. Levi's words are a lot for me to take in. He makes a good point, raises some good questions, but none I'm ready to answer. I swallow hard over the lump in my throat.

"So, tell me all about him. Everything you remember."

He asked, and so I do. At first, it's uncomfortable. Giving voice to something that's been so completely buried. I don't usually like to remember how things were before. It hurts too much—even after all this time But, somehow, he makes it easy.

Finally, breathless from laughing so hard, I run out of stories and turn the conversation to him.

"What about you? How did you end up in Easton Creek."

The question seems like an easy one, but he lets it hang between us unanswered. I'm almost ready to ask again, thinking maybe he didn't hear me, when he finally speaks.

"I'm here with my mom. Things with my dad are, um, complicated." Levi rubs the back of his neck, glancing out across the lake before looking at me again. "He's one of those people I was talking about before. He's a lot of different things. My mom couldn't do it anymore. She said she wanted more for me. A better life. So, we left. And this place...well, it's about as far away from where we used to live as you can get."

"I figured." I look behind us to his black truck shining in the sun. "You don't exactly blend."

He laughs deep and loud from the center of his chest, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't starting to enjoy the sound of it. And the way his whole face lights up when it happens. And the way he runs his hands through his hair like he can't stop until he shakes it off. And...

When the laughter dies, and it's quiet between us again, his face turns serious. "Hey," he pauses, and takes a deep breath before continuing, "can I ask you something? Serious? You don't have to answer if you don't want."

"Shoot."

"What happened this morning, is it always like that?"

"Way to kill the vibe," I say with a small huff of disappointment. My mind races, running through the hundred different ways I can answer, from sugar-coated lies to brutal honesty. If it were anyone else, I'd settle somewhere in the middle, but it doesn't feel right to be less than honest with Levi. Not now.

"Usually. Sometimes it's worse though."

I turn to face him expecting to see him looking at me with pity, but all I see are questions. Ones there are no answers to. That day in the backyard with Garrett I'm sure he thought he'd figured everything out—that when I'd gone inside and he'd left, he knew what kind of life I had, what kind of girl I was. There was no way for him to know how bad it really is.

Zack wasn't lying when he said the things he said. No matter what I do or how much I try to hide it, the ink that Garrett put on my skin tells the world what I am, who I am. It doesn't matter how it happened. It doesn't matter that I hadn't wanted it, or that I'd kicked and screamed and fought until I was exhausted. All that matters is that I'm marked.

I tried so hard to hide it, but all it took was one towel slip in the locker room after gym class, and everyone knew. Everyone, including him now.

I force myself to look at him. I need to be looking at his face, into his eyes, when I say what I have to say next. "I need to tell you something, Levi." My voice splinters as I try to get the words out. "Everything Zack said about me is true. I wish it wasn't, but it is. I wasn't lying when I said I've got nothing you'd want."

"Sunny, I—"

I interrupt as soon as I hear him say my name. My face burns and my heart races. I don't want to hear what he has to say. The thought of him turning on me now, is too much. I'm not ready for this—whatever this is—to end. My next words are apologetic. Weak. Desperate.

"Wait. Look. I'm sorry. You don't have to say anything. It's probably better if you don't. I thought you needed to hear that though. Hear the truth. From me. And it's okay. I'll understand if you don't want anything else to do with me."

Levi's expression doesn't change. His eyes stayed fixed on mine and he stays quiet and still.

I want to look away, hide my face from what I know is coming, but I can't. I need to hear the words. See the hate and disgust take over as what I said sinks in.

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