Page 35 of Beautiful Scars

There's a dull ache coming from deep in my skull and my thoughts keep getting lost, drifting away from me and not making sense. I raise my hand, the one that still works, and get ready to take my shot. Garrett's words stop me cold.

"Are you sure you wanna do that? You know, that one'll snap just as easy as the other one did. Then what will you do."

I don't respond. I can't. My mouth is swollen and my tongue is thick and dry. My teeth throb and ache. The pain is too much. My arm falls back to the floor. I stare up at Garrett, watching, helpless, as he opens the scissors again.

His eyes flick from the blades, to me, and back again several times. Like he's considering what his next move should be. Trying to decide my punishment.

Silently, he opens the scissors and presses one of the blades to my skin. In one long, slow stroke he drags it across my chest. There's a moment of sharp, stinging pain and then slick warmth running down my side. He pauses, sliding the cold metal between my breasts. With one smooth motion, he cuts away the delicate, lacy fabric I'd been so nervous to put on. So scared to have Levi see me in.

He glides the scissors back up, gently dragging the sharp point along my skin. Stopping at my collarbone, he closes the scissors before he digs the tips of both blades into my skin again forcing a low groan from my throat. The scissors tear and rip a path in my skin, down my chest and over my ribs. It's agony—my skin's on fire. Leaning back, he looks down at me and smiles.

"Beautiful." He whispers the word as the scissors clatter to the floor beside him—just out of my reach.

His breath comes in ragged gasps as he bends over me and grabs my wrist again. His fingers curl around my broken bones, squeezing with deliberate precision. "Oh sweetie. This is going to hurt. But I think you kinda asked for it, didn't you?" The words leave his mouth the same instant he slams my hand down on to the floor above my head. His fingers lace between mine, and he squeezes, forcing them to bend. When the small bones of my fingers give, cracking and slipping out of place, the pain is blinding, breathtaking. I open my mouth to scream but there's no sound. There's nothing.

"Stupid games, stupid prizes," he says, his voice flat, bored, as if this—as ifI—were nothing more than a major inconvenience. He presses his palm down harder, grinding my crooked fingers and tortured wrist into the floor. It drives the pain deeper until that's all that there is for me, nothing else exists. "We don't want that hand of yours causing any more trouble, do we?"

His other hand finds my throat, and squeezes tight, cutting off my air. I kick out, desperate to get him off me, to get free, to take a breath, but I don't think he feels it. His eyes are wild and his face is flushed.

“Did you really think a little cut would stop me Sunny?” he snarls, his voice thick and angry. "C'mon you know me better than that.”

I can’t breathe. I can’tbreathe.

I try to grab at his hands, tear them away from my throat, but every move sends waves of pain through my entire body. It's excruciating. I think I'm going to be sick. The edges of my vision blur—dark fuzzy spots creep in, dancing at the edges. I try again to scream, but, again, no sound comes out—only a silent gasp.

My skin is caked with blood. His, mine—too much to tell whose it is. I can feel it, thick like honey dripping down my side and pooling next to me. But again, he's right. I should've known it wouldn't have been enough to stop him.

“You know what I think?" He tenderly brushes a strand of hair out of my face. "I think you forgot the most important rule of our little game. How many times have I told you. You're either mine or you're dead. And look at you now baby. You’re gonna be both."

Garrett's breath is hot and sour against my skin. "I hate to tell you this, but you really haven't left me much choice. You’re gonna die here tonight, Sunny,” he whispers, his voice low and venomous. “Right here. And everyone will know it was me but it won't matter because I'll be long gone. And you know what else? No one's gonna care. It's not going to make even one tiny bit of difference to anyone. Not to your bitch of a mother. Not to that little boyfriend of yours. Especially not him. He'll be balls deep in some cheerleader before your even in the ground.You are nothing. You'll be forgotten in less than a week. Just like your old man." He presses his forehead to mine again, waiting patiently for his words to sink in.

"Although, I gotta tell ya'... I didn't enjoy getting rid of him as much as I will you."

My chest heaves as his words slam into me.

It was him. He killed my father. He. Killed. My. Father.

My lungs are on fire, desperate for air. My body trembles. I can feel the need to fight slipping away from me, draining out with every second that goes by. I'm starting to feel so heavy. I can’t… I can’t fight anymore.

He’s going to kill me.

This is it. I'm going to die.

The thought is crystal clear and deafening, even as the world around me turns to static and starts to fade. I should be terrified, should be fighting harder, but I can't. There's a cold, hollow emptiness spreading through me, swallowing me whole. It's all slipping away from me.

A universe of bright pinpoint stars explodes across the dark sky of my closed eyelids and I'm floating. Suspended in an icy pool of darkness with seashell waves crashing in my ears. The black nothingness is comforting. Calming. It's a relief.

Deep down, I knew this was how it would end. How I would end. There was never any other option, not really. No matter how much I wanted there to be.

Please don't let Levi be the one to find me. Please don't let him see me like this.

Garrett's voice is ringing in my ears, but I can't make out the words. I can feel the weight of his hands on my body, feel him moving inside me. But it's all so far away now.

It doesn't matter. None of it matters anymore.

My heart pounds, the beats weak and uneven, pulling me deeper into the dark. There's a brief flicker of memories, not nearly enough—liquid sunlight on water, Levi's lips against mine, laughter in the distance, my father's voice— before my thoughts break apart and start to disappear. The pain is gone now, finally.

I struggle to open my eyes. Garrett is above me still, his face blurry and out of focus, but I can still make out his expression. It's hideous, inhuman. I regret that it's the last thing I'll ever see. I regret that he's the last thing I'll ever feel. Him. Not Levi. Him.

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