Page 56 of Beautiful Scars

"The first day I met Sunny..." My voice cracks. I clear my throat and try again. "That first day… I found her crying in her backyard. She was beaten, bruised. Garrett had—" I clench my fists. "He'd hurt her. Badly. And when he came outside looking for her, drunk and talking about how she needed to come back inside with him... I lost it."

The memory of that day floods back, crystal clear. "I knocked him down the stairs. Broke his ribs, his leg. Could've killed him. Should've killed him."

"Jesus," Colt mutters.

"I thought I'd handled it. Thought I'd scared him enough to stay away." A disgusted laugh escapes me. "I was so fucking young and stupid. All I did was paint a target on our backs."

I start pacing, unable to stay still. "After that, all he had to do was wait for the perfect time to get even. He must've had eyes on us. Following her. Following me. I wouldn't have noticed, I was too wrapped up in her. I was so proud of myself for saving her and protecting her."

"There's no way you thought that would be it," Zane says. It's not a question.

"Yeah." The words are acid on my tongue. "I think a part of me knew that someone like Garrett wouldn’t spook that easily. I knew, I just chose to pretend I didn't. I loved her so much."

"What about your mom?" Colt asks. "How'd she get involved?"

My throat closes. I have to force the words out. "Mom? She wasn't involved at all. She'd only met Sunny a few times and I'm pretty sure she'd never met Garrett. I think he used her as another way to get to me. To take something away from me and hurt me."

"Shit," Zane breathes.

"She spent her whole life telling me that I needed to pay attention. That I was too much like my father and that nothing good would ever come of it. But I wouldn't listen. Thought I knew better. Thought I could handle anything."

I grab the whiskey bottle, pouring another shot with trembling hands. "Every single thing that happened after that first day—it's all on me.Mychoices.Myarrogance. Thinking I could do that kinda damage to someone like him and there wouldn't be consequences."

"So, that night..." Colt prompts.

"I left her alone." The words come out forced. "Left her vulnerable because I was off dealing with Zack. I told myself I was doing it for her, which is only partially true. I was doing it mostly for me. I couldn't stand what he was putting her through. And Garrett..." I down the whiskey, needing its burn. "He was smart. He went after my mom first. Made sure I'd find her. He went for Sunny while I was distracted."

The silence in the room is deafening. I can feel their eyes on me, processing the weight of my confession.

"All these years," I continue, my voice barely above a whisper, "I've told myself I was seeking justice. Revenge. But the truth is, everything that happened to them—to my mom, to Sunny – it all traces back to that first day. To me thinking I could fix everything. I didn't see the bigger picture until it was too late."

"Levi..." Colt starts. His voice is sympathetic, soothing.

"Don't." I hold up a hand. "Don't try to make this better. You wanted the truth? This is it. I got my mother killed. I left the girl I loved to die alone because I couldn't face the damage I'd caused. And then I dragged you both into my vendetta, built a whole life on lies because I couldn't admit the truth—that all of this, every bit of it, is my fault."

The silence in the room is heavy, oppressive. I watch Z's jaw clench and unclench, his hands flexing at his sides like he's fighting the urge to hit something. Hit me. Can't say I'd blame him if he did.

Colt sits back down on the couch, running his hands through his hair. His expression is softer than Z's, but no less troubled.

"Look," I say, my voice rough. "I know I fucked up. Not just that night, but every day since. Lying to you both, using your loyalty for my own agenda..."

"We trusted you." Z's voice is sharp. "I've been willing to follow you to hell and back. And the whole time—"

"The whole time I was too much of a coward to tell you the truth." I meet his burning gaze. "You're right. I betrayed that trust. With both of you."

Colt leans forward, elbows on his knees and lets out a deep sigh. "We were kids back then, man. All of us. Making shit decisions, thinking we were invincible—"

Z whirls on him. "Don't make excuses for him."

"I'm not." Colt holds up his hands. "But I get it. The panic, the guilt..."

"You're a coward," Z says through gritted teeth.

"You're right. I couldn't face any of it. Not what happened to my mom, not what I'd let happen to Sunny... It was easier to focus on revenge."

"And now?" Colt asks.

I laugh, but there's no humor in it. "Now? Now I have to live with knowing she survived. That while I was out here playing vigilante, she was trying to survive. Alone."