Page 83 of Beautiful Scars

The room tilts and I feel dizzy. A tiny, sad smile curves her lips as she watches the weight of her words settle.That can't be true. There's no way that's true.

"For one stupid, stupid moment I thought you'd come to save me. Rescue me. But that's not what happened, is it? You called the cops, then stepped over me like I was a piece of trash and walked out."

She blinks back tears but doesn't look away. "You left me there to die, Levi. By myself."

"Sunny," my voice cracks as I speak. "No. That's not what I—I'm sorry, I didn't—" The words tangle in my throat, getting caught on the lump forming there.

"Here's a little more truth for you since you want it so bad." She cuts through my stammered apologies.

"I laid in that hospital bed for twelve days, Levi. Twelve. Fucking. Days. Two surgeries on my hand, dressing changes. Pain you can't even imagine. And no one was there. Not a single soul. Not you. Not my mom. No one." Her voice splinters and she forces a deep shuddering breath into her lungs before continuing.

"Oh, but don't worry. I still made plenty of excuses for you though. For quite a while actually. I couldnotbelieve that I'd been so wrong about you. I thought, there's no way he’d abandon me. He loves me. He promised. But, that's exactly what you did isn't it?"

She pauses, waiting for a response, but I have nothing. There are no words.

"I waited, Levi. I begged and prayed and hoped for just one phone call. One visit. Anything to let me know that I hadn't made it all up. Anything to let me know that I wasn't alone. That you weren't a liar."

Tears stream down her cheeks now, but it's the hollow whisper her voice becomes that guts what's left of me. "But you never came back. And that's where the biggest truth of all is, isn't it? After everything we went through—after all of your pretty words and promises—when it came right down to it—it didn't matter enough to you.Ididn't matter enough to you."

Each word drives another nail into my chest. For the first time I feel the full weight of what I did and what I failed to do and it threatens to bring me to my knees.

"Holy fuck, Levi," Colt breathes from behind me. I hadn't even heard him come in from outside.

"And now, now you want to pretend that you care? That I matter to you?" She shakes her head. "You're the one who isn't being honest, Levi."

"I'm so sorry, Sunny." The words feel pathetic, but I force them out anyway. "I thought you were gone. I truly believed that. I never would have left if—" I swallow hard. "I couldn't face it, couldn't face living without you. Please, please forgive me."

"It looks likeyoufound a way to manage just fine." She looks at me for a long moment, her expression carved from stone.

"One last little piece of honesty. Something I hope you think about for a long time. You always thought you were the good guy, so proud to be my savior. But the truth is, you Levi, are so much worse than Garrett ever was. At least when he was hurting me, using me, he didn't lie about it. He knew what he was doing, what he was and never pretended to be anything but that. You though…" she says quietly.

The words steal the air from my lungs and leave me reeling. My legs nearly buckle beneath me as the full weight of her accusation crashes over me. The truth of it—being compared to Garrett, being told I'mworse—shatters something down in the very core of who I am.

I lower my eyes to the floor. I can't look at her, can't bear to see the truth of her words reflected in eyes that used to look at me with so much love and trust.

"You don't deserve an answer to your question, but I'll give you one anyway." She lowers her head and stares at the floor, the tension draining from her body.

"After that night… after you left…"

Her breath hitches and she wraps her arms around herself. "There hasn't been anyone. No one's touched me, Levi. Not once in the past seven years. Garrett was the last. You know why?"

Her voice is thick with grief and pain and barely more than a whisper as she continues. “Because you destroyed any chance I ever had of being able to trust anyone again. I hate you for that. And I will never, ever forgive you."

Before I can respond, she turns and runs up the stairs. The sound of her door slamming echoes through the house, followed by the decisive click of a lock.

I stand frozen in the kitchen, her words replaying in an endless loop. The magnitude of what I've done—the depth of pain I’ve caused—crashes into me and steals my breath.

My legs give out and I sink to my knees, barely registering Z and Colt's presence anymore.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Sunny

Islamthedoorbehind me and slide down against it, my legs giving out. The wood is cool against my back, grounding me as violent tremors wrack my body. My hands won't stop shaking.

I can't believe I did that. I can't believe I just laid everything bare in front of everyone. The shame burns hot in my chest, knowing that now they all know. Every single person downstairs heard exactly what happened to me. What Garrett did. What Levi did.

Levi.

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