Page 35 of Lessons in Heartbreak

I shifted slightly in my seat. “Not wildly. I thought my imagined harem of women and the feminine understanding that brings is why you wanted my help.”

Ruby ignored me. “Besides, I am not most women.”

“That is abundantly clear.”

By the look on her face, she didn’t appreciate my dry tone. I chuckled under my breath. “Sorry. Okay, so you don’t want love, you just want ...”

“I want to know what it all feels like,” she said quietly. “My hope is that experiencing something, even for a short time, is enough to satisfy the part of me that feels like I’m missing out. It doesn’t mean I need it forever.”

Every once in a while, someone unwittingly hits on a truth you can’t really put a name to yourself.

That’s how I felt about everything.

I hated missing out on things. Experiences or parties or trips. That’s why feeling stuck in one place, feeling chained down, brought out the worst side of me. Why I accepted stupid dares like climbing a bell tower while I was drunk and naked because my friends didn’t think I would. When that feeling curled around my insides, I stopped thinking about what might happen next. Because if I ignored it, if I shoved it down, I felt like a little kid who pressed his nose to the window but wasn’t allowed out.

Was that how Ruby felt? If she saw a couple together?

Like she was separate. Kept apart. Maybe it was something in her own brain that held her back, or whatever had happened to her in the past. But I hated the idea that she did.

For whatever reason, whatever part of my teenage years involved her sitting quietly in the background, I hated the idea that Ruby Tate felt like less in any single way.

There it was.

The spike of interest, the spiraling sensation of challenge that wrapped itself around my spine. Ignoring this offer was all but impossible, now that I’d gotten a glimpse of what she’d been hiding. It was too delicious. Too intriguing to pass up.

Teach her how to make a man want her?

Let’s fucking go. I’d have the single men of Colorado falling at her fucking feet before I packed my bags.

I leaned forward in the same way she had, and to my surprise, she held her ground. “So that means you won’t fall in love with me either, yeah?” She opened her mouth to speak, and I gently laid a finger over her lips. Her head snapped back, and I brushed my finger over my thumb, where my skin still tingled from the softness of her bottom lip. “I’m extremely lovable, so you might want to think this over.”

She rolled her eyes. “I think I’m safe.”

“Lessons,” I said slowly. “You’re going to do whatever I say, and we’ll get you ready for your Librarians Gone Wild phase by the end of the two weeks, huh?”

“If you ever call it that again, I will slap you.”

“Kinky, but not my thing, birdy.” I stood from the couch and set my hands on my hips. Warily, she stood as well. “I’m usually the one who likes to do the spanking, but we can talk about those things later, once we’ve gotten to know each other better.”

Her cheeks were flame red. “That is not what I need to learn from you.”

“I’m always open to renegotiating,” I said generously.

Ruby sniffed. “Regardless. I think we can still be friendly and professional. I just ... I just need some guidance, is all. A friend would tell me I’m not doing anything wrong and I shouldn’t change who I am, but ... maybe I need someone who’s willing to use a firmer hand.” The words dangled in the air, and the moment she realized what she’d said, Ruby pinched her eyes shut. “Do not make a spanking joke; you know that’s not what I meant.”

“I am aware, yes,” I said magnanimously.

She sighed. “So you’ll help me?”

Stroking my jaw as I studied her, I didn’t even attempt to stifle the bright flame of interest. A game plan started forming in my head before I could stop it. I stuck my hand out between us. With a deep breath, she placed her much smaller hand in mine, and a grin immediately spread over my face. This was going to be fun.

“Ruby, you just got yourself a teacher.”

Chapter TenRuby

Bam, bam, bam.

Groaning into my pillow, I curled onto my side and pried my eyes open, wondering why the sun was hardly in the sky and someone was using a jackhammer somewhere in my house.

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