Page 75 of Lessons in Heartbreak

Ruby watched her hands as she trailed them down the front of my chest and anchored them over my abs, her eyes going a little hazy, and I had to fight the urge to rock up into her.

How had we gotten here this fast?

“I don’t want to be treated like glass,” she whispered. Her finger smoothed out over my ribs as they expanded on a deep breath. “And I enjoy feeling like I have autonomy over my body. Over the things that feel good. I never thought that would happen for me again.”

“That makes sense,” I rasped. Her fingers started inching up underneath my shirt, and my head spun when the edge of her fingernails lightly danced over the line of hair that split my abs and disappeared down into my shorts.

“Youfeel good, Griffin.” Her eyes were so direct there was no looking anywhere else but at her. “And more importantly, you makemefeel good. That’s not a small thing.”

“So you don’t want to be friends,” I said. She shook her head, tracing her finger just underneath the waistband of my shorts. An inch lower and she’d find a very big surprise waiting for her. With a frown, I plucked her hands away from my stomach. “Fuck, I can’t think straight when you do that.”

“That’s the plan,” she said gravely. “Because ... I’d like to approach an alternative negotiation for the rest of your time here.”

“What?”

Her eyes bounced between mine, and I found myself holding my breath. “We’re friends ... who do other things too.”

My voice sounded like I’d swallowed rusty blades when I spoke, because “other things” opened up the floodgates of really good mental images. “Like what kind of things? And please feel free to be specific.”

She exhaled a small laugh. “You can still teach me things, Griffin.” Ruby leaned forward, sliding her hands up the sides of my neck and into my hair, rolling her forehead against mine. It shifted her hips over mine in a way that about had my eyes crossing. My hands clenched into fists, arms dropping onto the cushions next to me, muscles shaking from the need to touch her. “I want you to keep making me feel good.” Her nose nudged mine. Her breath smelled like sweet tea. “And I want to do the same to you.”

Never in my entire life had I held back in a moment like this one. A woman I wanted—pretty and smart and funny—was sitting on my lap, rubbing herself all over me like I was the greatest thing since sliced fucking bread, and I was keeping my hands off.

My head fell back and I took a deep breath. “God, Ruby, I don’t know. You deserve someone better than me for stuff like this. Someone who can give you all the forever shit.”

With a grip firm enough to shock me, she grabbed my face with both hands, forcing me to look at her. “I’m not looking for forever, Griffin. Listen to me. I don’t want to make promises to anyone that I am physically not able to keep. I’ll ... I’ll never get pregnant. I can’t imagine allowing someone to fall in love with me, marry me, when I have no idea what the rest of my life looks like.” Her voice shook slightly, and I felt a strange, terrifying wave of emotion push up against my ribs. “But I trust you, and you can show me things that I want to know. Do you know how important that is? I want to own this for myself.”

The easy thing to do would’ve been to slide my hands around her hips and lean forward to slant my mouth over hers. Push up underneath her shirt and palm her breasts, suck on her tongue and work my way down a sweet little list of things to make her feel fucking incredible.

But for the first time in my life, I felt a whisper of caution slicing through all those things we both wanted.

Careful,it said.Careful with this one. She’s special.

It didn’t mean Ruby didn’t know what she wanted or that she didn’t deserve to take ownership of all those things she was talking about. Lord knew I’d done the same over the years with women who were clear on what the score was, who knew that forever wasn’t in my repertoire either.

With gritted teeth and a hiss of pleasure when she shifted slightly over top of me, I pulled my head back and finally used my hands to cup her face in return. My thumbs brushed over her cheekbones, and triumph surged behind her eyes.

“Take tonight,” I told her. “Rest tomorrow. And I’ll come over Sunday morning.” She opened her mouth to argue, but I laid my finger over her lips. “Please. Today was a lot. I’m not saying no, because you are so fucking tempting—you don’t even know.”

Ruby melted. “Really?”

“Do you feel me right now?” I growled.

“Yes.” Her voice was hardly above a whisper, and I felt it like a bat to the head.

“Take tomorrow and think about what you’re asking for.” I tangled my fingers in her hair, cupping the back of her head while she leaned into my grasp. “I don’t want you to regret anything with me, baby. That would kill me.”

Ruby simply sat there and watched me for a few long moments, then finally nodded. “Okay. But I won’t change my mind.”

I laughed quietly. “You’re allowed to, though. That’s the point.”

Ruby sighed, easing herself off me, and with a pointed look at my lap, she arched her eyebrow. “Wouldhelet me change my mind, though?”

With a wince, I stood, adjusting the obnoxious asshole behind the flimsy material of my athletic shorts and boxer briefs. “Don’t you worry about him,” I said.

Ruby walked me to the door, pausing before she opened it. I didn’t move, either, an obvious lingering between both of us. I knew what I wanted. Knew why I didn’t want to leave.

I held my arms out. “Come here, birdy.”

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