Page 86 of Lessons in Heartbreak

Marcus grinned. “Isn’t he great? I fucking love that guy.”

I sank down onto the weight bench and speared my hands into my hair. “I hate all of you right now.”

“Cheer up, dude. If nothing else, you’ll only be at Steven’s house for a few more days, right? You won’t have to see her anymore if you don’t want to or if shit ends badly.”

Marcus wandered off to start some weights, leaving me in the absolute misery of my thoughts. The day had felt so easy when I found the keys to Steven’s car.

Surprise her with a convertible! Why not? It didn’t mean anything. I was just doing something nice for a friend.

Except I wasn’t. I wanted to make her happy more than I’d wanted anything in a long fucking time. Craved it, even.

I got high off the feeling of making her feel good.

Was I really falling in love with her? I scrubbed a hand over my face and watched her finish up another rep with the trainer. Her face was pink from exertion, but her eyes were bright and her smile ... God, my chest turned over looking at her smile.

I was fucked.

No matter what her feelings were doing. No matter whether we slept together or not.

I wasfucked.

For a teeny, tiny speck of a moment, I indulged myself in what might happen if I just told her. If I came clean. If we slept together and it was as good as I imagined it would be and I poured my heart out to her.

That’s where my brain stalled. Where my imagination fizzled out.

There’d never been a time in my life, outside of the football field, where anyone relied on me for something big, something important. I’d never carried the weight of someone else’s emotional well-being. And if I came clean to Ruby, that’s what would happen.

If her feelings hadn’t changed and she was more than ready to bid me adieu when my time in Welling Springs was over, I couldn’t find myself—yet again—standing in front of someone important only to watch them walk away.

My jaw tightened uncomfortably, my brain looping around something Rachel had said to me the day she came over wearing Barrett’s engagement ring. “You’re good for a few things, Griffin. Forever isn’t one of them.”

Ruby wasn’t Rachel. That much was clear.

But at the end of the day, I was still me, wasn’t I?

If being myself came with a risk of hurting this person who’d become so important to me, then the best thing I could do was hold up my end of the bargain. I’d promised Ruby that I wouldn’t fall in love with her, and as far as she’d know, I’d keep that promise.

With a sigh, I watched her smile again and rubbed at the pinching sensation in my chest, knowing I’d have to lie to myself, and her, in order to do it.

Chapter TwentyRuby

“I need to hit something,” I announced as soon as Griffin opened the door.

“I’ll volunteer as long as you don’t break my jaw.” He moved aside, tweaking the back of my ponytail. “I almost came to see you yesterday. I’m out of books. The cowboy one was steamy. I think I learned a few things.”

The teasing joke went straight over my head. He was shirtless and I hardly noticed, and if that wasn’t an indication of my foul mood, I don’t know what was.

With a sigh, I brushed past him, about to sling my gym bag onto the couch when I stopped short. Marcus was sprawled out on one section, hand on his chest and his eyes glued to the TV. He was shirtless, too, but I really didn’t care about that.

“Shhh,” he said. “This is a really good part.”

In theory, I knew what I was seeing, but I was wide-eyed and slack-jawed all the same.

“I know,” Griffin said. “I’m shocked he’s still here too. Can’t figure out how to get rid of him.”

“What the fuck?” I breathed.

“I’m trying to watch here!” Marcus yelled. “Do you mind?”

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