Page 35 of Remember Me

“So,” she said after a moment, her voice casual but knowing. “How far along are you?”

My eyes flew open, my head whipping toward her so fast I almost got dizzy again. “What?”

Hayden gave me a small, knowing smile before she knocked me with her elbow playfully. “Come on, Britt. I lived with you for two years. I know you. You’re not drinking, you’ve got this gorgeous glow about you and you keep touching your stomach when you think no one’s looking.”

I stared at her, momentarily speechless. Here I thought I'd been so careful, so discrete. But of course Hayden would notice. She always did.

“Am I being that obvious?”

She snorted. “Not as obvious as your husband. Matty looked at you with heart eyes before, but now, he’s positively obsessed. Your every move is being monitored. Pretty sure he’s annoyed I flew in here before he could too.”

I knew what she meant. Matty had been my rock through this. He’d seen every injection, every pregnancy test, every heartbreak to get to this point and he was the one I’d been drawing my strength from. I guessed I didn’t realize how much that was affecting him.

“How far along are you?” Her voice is gentle, a soothing wave in the crash of emotions that were flooding through me.

“Eight weeks,” I finally admitted, the words barely audible even in the quiet bathroom. It was the first time I'd said it out loud to anyone besides Matty and my doctor. “Maybe nine.”

Hayden's smile widened, genuine happiness lighting up her face. “That's wonderful, Britt.”

“Is it?” The question escaped before I could stop it, vulnerability seeping into my voice. “We've been trying for two years, Hayden. All those IVF treatments, the hormone shots, the disappointments...” I trailed off, remembering the emotional rollercoaster of the past twenty-four months. “And now that it's finally happened, I'm terrified. What if I'm not ready? After wanting this for so long, what if I'm not actually cut out for motherhood?”

I pressed my hand to my stomach, still flat beneath my shirt. “We spent so much money, so much time, so much emotional energy trying to make this happen. And now that it has, all I can think about is how everything is going to change, how my career might be over, how I don't know the first thing about being someone's mother.”

Hayden took my hand, her grip warm and steady. “After all that effort, all that hoping, it makes sense to be scared. You've wanted this baby for so long that now the stakes feel impossibly high.”

I looked down at our intertwined fingers, feeling the steady pressure of her grip.

“I spent so much of my life hidden in the dark,” she continued, her voice thoughtful. “Afraid to reach for things, afraid to want things. Then Adam showed me how important it is to step into the light and embrace what you have, even if it comes with challenges.”

She squeezed my hand. “You know what he told me once? He said, 'The best things in life are never guaranteed, Hayden. That's what makes them worth fighting for.'“

I felt tears gathering in my eyes—damn pregnancy hormones—as Hayden's words settled over me.

“But my career—”

“Will still be there,” she said firmly. “Maybe it'll look different, maybe you'll have to make some adjustments, but you're Britt Mathieson. You've never let anything stop you before.”

She turned to face me more fully. “Remember when that baseball manager said you didn't know what you were talking about because you're a woman? And you proceeded to break down his entire pitching rotation with stats he didn't even know existed?”

Despite everything, I laughed. “He looked like he'd swallowed his own tongue.”

“Exactly.” Hayden nodded emphatically. “You're going to be an amazing mother, Britt. Not because you're perfect, none of us are, but because you'll give it the same passion and dedication you give everything else.”

The tears I'd been holding back spilled over. “I don't know how to do this,” I whispered.

“None of us do,” Hayden replied with a soft laugh. “You think Reign knew how to handle twins? Or triplets? We all figure it out as we go. And you're not alone. You have Matty and all of us. That’s what we’re here for.”

I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around her in a fierce hug that caught her by surprise. She returned it immediately, holding me tight as I tried to collect myself.

“Thank you,” I murmured against her shoulder.

“Anytime,” she replied, pulling back to look at me. “That's what friends are for.”

We both looked up at the sound of the bathroom door opening, and Matty's concerned face appeared.

“Babe.” His soft voice soothed me as he gently took over from Hayden, scraping back my hair, getting it out of the way so I could keep my head in the toilet. His other hand rubbed my back, and I didn't know if I could face him right now.

Hayden gave my shoulder one last squeeze before standing. “I'll tell everyone you're okay,” she said quietly to Matty, who nodded gratefully. “And I snatched this out of Reign’s bag.” To his surprise, she handed him another jersey. Hayden shrugged. “It’s a mom thing. We always pack spares of everything.”

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