Page 111 of The Jerk in Apartment 1B

“It was turning into what Bridget and I had,” I say. “A friends with benefits situation.”

I feel like shit for saying that. It’s not even close to the truth. What I feel for Trina is so much more than I ever felt for Bridget. But I can’t let her know that.

“Yeah, I guess it was,” Trina says, biting her lip. She glances back at the door. “That’s really all I wanted to say. I’m going to go.”

“Yeah, okay,” I say, needing her to go before I tell her how I really feel. How I want to keep this going, but can’t.

She goes out the door, back to her apartment. And that’s it. It’s over. The one chance I had to fall in love again is over.

But it’s for the best. For me, but also for Trina. She’ll find another guy. A guy who can actually be with her. As for me? I’m better off alone.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Trina

I knew Scott was going to end things between us. I could just tell. Something was off with him when we were in the storage room. He got all tense and agitated, and he couldn’t wait to get away from me.

My guess is he’s wanted to end this for days, maybe longer, but he didn’t want to tell me, knowing it would hurt me. So instead of just saying it, he got angry at me over that sketch. It made no sense at the time, but later I realized it was his way of telling me he wanted out. The fun was over and he was ready to move on.

He wanted to end it, so I ended it for him. I didn’t want to wait for him to do it. I didn’t want to hear him explain how this is about him not wanting a relationship and has nothing to do with me. None of that would make me feel better. So I went over there and told him it’s over so I wouldn’t have to hear it from him.

Now I’m sad, and angry at myself for ever getting involved with him. When Asher broke up with me, I told myself I was staying away from guys for at least a year, and within a week I’d broken that rule. From now on, I’m going to follow it. Even if the most amazing guy shows up and asks me out, I’m turning himdown. This experience has convinced me I’m not ready to date again, and I’m definitely not someone who can be in a casual relationship. I can’t help but get my heart involved.

What really hurts is that Scott didn’t try to fight for me. When I told him it was over, he agreed it’s what we should do. I shouldn’t be surprised by that since I knew he wanted to end it, but I was hoping he’d want to talk about it more. I thought he’d at least tell me he still wanted us to be friends. But it’s probably better if we’re not. It would be too hard to be around him when I still have feelings for him.

My phone rings and I see Callie’s name on the screen. I texted her earlier and asked her to call me when she could.

“Hey, Callie,” I answer.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, able to tell from my tone that something happened.

“I ended it with Scott.”

I tell her about Scott’s odd behavior in the storage room, and how I took it as a sign things were over between us.

“I’m really sorry,” Callie says. “I know how much you liked him.”

“Yeah, but it was never going to be anything more than it was. I knew that, and yet I let myself have feelings for him.”

“You can’t be angry at yourself for that. It’s normal to have feelings for a guy when you spend all your time with him.”

“Scott didn’t have a problem keeping his feelings out of it. But he’s used to casual relationships. I’m not. Why did I have to get involved with him?”

“Because you liked him and had a good time with him. He was a good distraction when you were getting over Asher.”

“Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t have told Asher it was over. Maybe I should’ve given him time like he asked me to, so he could figure things out. Maybe if I’d just waited longer, he would’ve been able to commit to me.”

“He had plenty of time to commit to you. If he couldn’t figure out he wanted to be with you after four years, it was never going to happen.”

“It wasn’t about me, though. It was about his career. That’s why he didn’t want to set a date for the wedding. He wanted to feel like everything was good in his career before we got married.”

“Okay, but what if that never happened? Or what if he kept using that as an excuse? Would you really want to keep waiting for him to decide if he was ready to marry you?”

“Callie, you don’t understand. You’re married with a baby. I’m single and starting over. What if it never happens for me? What if Asher was the guy and I gave him up?”

“I don’t think Asher was the guy. Just look how quickly you fell for Scott. If you were really that in love with Asher, you wouldn’t have even been interested in Scott.”

“Or I just wanted a distraction from Asher so I went out with Scott.”

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