Page 123 of The Jerk in Apartment 1B

“She was gone by the time the paramedics got there. The doctor I spoke to said it was too late for them to do anything.” Hewipes his eyes and takes a breath. “They flew her body back and we had a ceremony later that week.”

I wait to see if he’s going to say anything more. When he doesn’t, I turn to him and put my hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry, Scott. I had no idea.”

“I don’t tell many people this. I don’t like talking about it. But I owed you an explanation for why I got so angry when you asked about that sketch.” He takes it from me. “This is the first one she did. It was also our first product.”

“Our? So you started the company together?”

“I started it, but it never would’ve existed if it weren’t for her. She encouraged me to do it. Or more like pushed me. She wouldn’t let it go. She’d leave the sketches everywhere I went to remind me that I needed to start the company. I told her it’d never happen. That I’d never do it.”

“But you did.”

“Because Megan wouldn’t let me give up. She knew I’d make the company a success. She believed in me more than I ever believed in myself.” Scott glances at me. “Sometimes that’s all it takes. Someone who believes in you. That’s why I do what I’m doing now. Half my job working with young entrepreneurs is convincing them they can do it. Making them believe in themselves.” He sets the sketch back on the shelf. “That’s basically it. What I wanted to tell you.”

“I don’t know what to say. I kind of feel like I don’t know you, like there’s this whole other side of you I didn’t know was there.”

“It’s not there. Not anymore. The person I was back in California is gone. I’m not that guy anymore.”

“Is that why you moved here? To get away from the memories you had with her?”

He nods.

“This is why you don’t want a relationship,” I say, finally putting it together. “You still love her.”

“I’ll always love her,” he mutters, like he’s saying it more to himself than to me.

I never had a chance with him. His heart belongs to someone else. She may be gone, but he still holds on to what they had. She was his forever love. There will never be another.

I thank him for telling me, then get up and leave. I finally have an explanation, but hearing it made me feel worse, not better. I feel terrible for Scott, knowing want he’s been through and how it’s affected him. He’ll never love anyone again, which is sad. Even though we’re not together, I care about Scott and want him to be happy, but I’m not sure that he is. He loves what he does and he has a lot of friends, but he’ll never have a wife, or a family. Is he really okay with that, or just saying he is because he won’t let himself have it?

That night, after I get off work, Asher calls and asks if I’ll go out with him tomorrow. He wants to take me to Sunday brunch, which he knows I love, then on a walk through the park to see the fall leaves, another thing I love. He’s trying really hard to win me back, but what happens if he does? Will he go back to how he used to be? Ignoring me and taking me for granted?

I agree to go out with him. I want to believe he’s changed, but I’ll only know that if I spend time with him. I can’t say I’m excited about our date, but that’s because I keep comparing Asher to Scott. When I imagine myself with Asher, it just doesn’t feel the same as when I imagine myself with Scott.

Everything felt different with him, in a good way, like the world was somehow brighter. That may sound strange, but it’s the best way to describe how I felt, like everything was brighter.

It’s not like that with Asher, but that doesn’t mean our relationship couldn’t be good. We just have to work harder at it. And unlike Scott, Asher wants this. He wants a relationship and wants to get married. He’s ready for that. Scott’s not, and never will be.

Maybe it’s time to forgive Asher and give him another chance. I could move back in with him and see how it goes.

I’ll always have a place in my heart for Scott, but I have to move on. He belongs to someone else, someone who’s no longer here. And I don’t see him ever letting her go.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Scott

It’s been a week since I told Trina about Megan. That was the last time we talked.

Trina hasn’t been around much. She’s either at work or out with her ex. I guess I can’t call him her ex anymore since they’re back together. I can’t believe she took him back.

Every time I see her with him, I get so damn angry. I’m angry at her for getting back together with him, but I’m even more angry at myself for ending it with her. I tell myself I didn’t have a choice, but that’s just an excuse. The truth is, I could’ve been with Trina but wouldn’t let myself. I let my fear of getting serious with a girl make my decision instead of doing what I really wanted.

But this past week, as I’ve thought it over, I’ve changed my mind. I’ve decided to try again with Trina. I know she’s with Asher, but that’s not going to stop me. They’re not married. They’re not even engaged. I don’t know what they’re doing. Dating? Getting to know each other again? It doesn’t matter. I’m giving this a shot and hoping for the best.

“Hey,” Cole says, coming into my apartment. “I got the bill from the plumber.”

I’m on the couch with my laptop, going over the notes for the meeting this week.

“Just leave it on the counter,” I say. “I’ll deal with it later.”

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