Page 47 of The Jerk in Apartment 1B

“What’s wrong with it?” Scott asks. “Why are you giving it back?”

“Because it’s a sex float,” I blurt out.

“Awhat?”

“You heard me.” I glare at Scott, who looks confused. Maybe hedidn’thear me.

“I think she called it a sex float,” Cole says. “What the hell is a sex float?”

“It’s a pool float you have sex on,” I say, glancing at Cole before looking back at Scott. “Sex that involves whipped cream that could ruin your mattress if you did it in a bed.”

“I don’t know what she’s talking about,” Cole says to Scott. “Who’s having sex on a pool float?”

“He is!” I point at Scott. “And then he gave me that disgusting thing to sleep on!”

Scott smiles a little. “You think I had sex on the pool float? And then gave it to you to sleep on?”

“Yes, which is completely disgusting! I’m going to have to sterilize my whole apartment now and take another shower before I go to work. And then I’ll have to sterilize my clothes and—”

“Trina, stop.” Scott puts his hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eye. “I didn’t have sex on the pool float.”

“Yeah, right. Why else would you have it? There’s no pool in the building. Who has a pool float without a pool?”

“I’m going to let you two talk this out,” Cole says. “But Scott, you might have a new idea here. She’s got a point about keeping the mattress clean.” He walks off.

Scott takes his hands off my shoulders but remains in front of me. “That pool float has never been used. Not even in a pool. And definitely not for sex.”

“Then why do you have it?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Because having a pool float in a New York City apartment doesn’t make sense. You’re definitely not using it in a pool.”

He walks back to the pool float and picks it up. “I promise you, this has never been used. Now do you want it or not?”

“No. I’d rather sleep on the floor.”

“You don’t believe me? You think I’m lying about it never being used?”

“I don’t know. I just met you. And guys lie.”

“Yeah, okay,” he says in an angry tone as he drags the pool float back into his apartment. He shuts the door, leaving me alone in the hall.

Why is he getting upset about this? It’s perfectly reasonable for me to ask why he has a pool float. And if he’s telling the truth and it’s never been used, then why does he have it? Why won’t he tell me?

I go back to my apartment and notice how empty it looks without the pool float. I’ll admit, it was really comfortable. It wasn’t one of those cheap, flimsy ones. It was really high quality and several inches thick, more like an inflatable mattress than a pool float.

Maybe I should’ve kept it. I could go tell Scott I changed my mind. But I still don’t trust that it’s never been used. I’ll just go back to sleeping on the floor.

An hour later, I leave for work. I go out to the hall and see two girls waiting outside Scott’s apartment, a blonde and a brunette. They’re both beautiful, like Bridget.

Are they Scott’s friends, or more than that? Does Bridget know he’s having girls over? I know he said there’s nothing going on with her, but I don’t believe him.

“Hi!” the blonde girl says to me as I go down the hall.

I smile at her. “Hi.”

Scott’s door opens and our eyes meet as I pass by.

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