“And you’re okay with the commute?”
“For now, I can deal with it, but I’ll eventually want to move there.”
“That’s a big change. You used to say you never wanted to leave Manhattan.”
“This is what I’m trying to tell you.” He rubs my hand. “I’ve changed, Trina. This time we’ve been apart has really made me think about what’s important and what I want in life.” He glances at the mattress. “Can we go sit down?”
“Sure.” I sit in the chair and leave the mattress for Asher.
He leans toward me, that excited look still on his face. “You used to talk about wanting a house someday with a big yard for our kids. I couldn’t imagine it because I couldn’t imagine ever leaving the city. But now, with this new job, everything’s changed, and I’m actually looking forward to living back in Connecticut. Having a family there. Being close to my parents.”
“Asher, why are you telling me this? Why are you here?”
He takes my hand and holds it in his. “I made a mistake. I never should’ve called off our engagement. I love you, Trina, and I want to marry you. I’m ready now. I’m ready to set a date.”
“Asher, I—”
“Wait. Before you say anything, there’s something I need to do.” He reaches in the pocket of his suit jacket and pulls something out, then gets down on one knee. “Trina, I love you, and I want us to have the future we always talked about. I know that now. I’m not wavering anymore. I know this is what I want.So I need to ask you again…” He smiles at me and holds out the ring. “Will you marry me?”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Trina
My heart’s pounding as I stare down at the ring. Is this really happening? Did Asher just propose to me again?
A few minutes ago, I was sitting here thinking I’d be single for the rest of my life, and then Asher shows up with my engagement ring? Saying he wants to marry me? And move to Connecticut?
“Asher, I… I don’t know,” I say, my gaze going from the ring to his face. “This is all really sudden. I mean, you just showed up here after not speaking to me for weeks.”
“Because you told me it was over. I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me. I also had to make sure I knew what I wanted before I talked to you. I didn’t want you thinking I’d change my mind about this. Maybe you still think that, but I promise you, Trina, I’ve given this a lot of thought and I’m certain this is what I want.” He slips the ring on my finger and I gaze at it on my hand.
It’s such a beautiful ring. I loved wearing it, showing it off to people. But now, having it on doesn’t feel right.
“I’m not ready for this,” I say, taking off the ring. “I’m sorry, Asher, but I’m not.”
I go to hand him the ring, but he won’t take it.
“You said you’re not ready. You didn’t say no.” He glances at the ring, then back at me. “Keep it. You don’t have to wear it, but at least keep it while you think about this.”
“It’s a lot to think about, and after all this time, I don’t know if I—”
“It hasn’t been that long.” He grips my hand. “Trina, we were together for four years and apart for what… a little over a month? That’s nothing. And I needed that time to figure out that this is what I want. You and me. A house. Kids. Being close to my family. It’s all so clear now. I don’t know why I couldn’t see it before.”
It’s because he was so focused on himself and his career. He didn’t care about anything else. He took me for granted. Assumed I’d always be there, waiting until he had time for me. And back then, I was okay with that because all I wanted was the wedding. The pretty dress. The sparkly diamond ring. And a husband.
I still want those things, but do I want them with Asher? He says he’s changed, but is he being sincere, or is he only saying this so I’ll agree to get back together with him?
“It’s good you know what you want,” I tell him. “But I don’t. I thought we were over. I thought you’d moved on with your life. I even considered you might be seeing someone else.”
“No, never. Trina, I haven’t even thought about being with someone else. I want you. It’s always been you.” He pauses. “This time we’ve been apart, have you gone out with anyone?”
“Yes, but it wasn’t anything serious.”
“And you’re not seeing him anymore?”
“No. It’s over.”
Why does it still hurt so much when I say that? And why do I still miss him so much? He’s right next door. It’s not like I nolonger see him. I pass him almost every day in the hall. So why do I miss him? Why can’t I get over him?