Page 29 of Crash Over Us

Before I could answer, Nan appeared at our table. She had tears in her eyes. She threw her arms around me.

“Caleb O’Connor, we were scared to death. All of us.”

I tried to wriggle free without embarrassing all three of us. “Thanks, Nan.”

“And to think you were almost killed. You could have been shot. In the ocean! I can’t. I just can’t!” She blew her nose into her waitress towel.

“Shot?” Margot looked at me. There was fire in her eyes, but not the good time. “What is she talking about?”

Shit. The police report must have been released.

Nan dabbed at her eyes. “Oh, honey. You are so lucky he is okay. Those criminals. Water gangsters. I don’t know what you call them. Guns. Stealing. It’s just not right. Things like that don’t happen here.”

“Caleb.” Margot pressed her lips together.

“Nan, thanks, but could you bring us our usual? Please. Extra bacon for Margot.” I knew bacon wasn’t going to save me. Nothing was.

“Of course, honey. Of course. And a pot of coffee. All of it on the house. Really. My treat.” She patted me on the shoulder and shuffled off to the cook’s carousel where she added our order ticket to the window.

“You just lectured me about Ethan and you were on a boat with pirates? Or what? What have you not been telling me?”

I slumped into the booth. “I am going to tell you. I said I would. I just… I don’t want to talk about it. I liked everything else we were doing.”

She glared at me. “You think by fucking each other’s brains out means something bad didn’t happen to you?”

“That’s not fair.” I pushed forward in the seat.

“It isn’t? Because I’m fairly certain that’s what we’ve been doing. I know I was.”

I stared at her. I blinked. “I wasn’t using you. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Caleb, I love you. When I thought you weren’t coming back yesterday I didn’t know what I was going to do. There was nothing. Just nothing.” She bit her lip. I could tell how hard she was trying to get through her thoughts. “And yes, when you were back and safe all I wanted was to be with you that way. And this morning. I think it’s some kind of reaction we’re having to your near-death experience, except only one of us knows what happened. Only one of us knows exactly how close you were to near death. So I’m feeling cut out.” She reached for my hand. “I know you aren’t using me. But we’re both riding some kind of sex high because of what happened.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“It’s not bad, but I’d feel a whole lot better if Nan didn’t know more than me.” She closed her eyes. “It’s just how can we be so close? How can you be part of me? Inside me? Melting into me and having the most epic sex of my life and I’m the only person who doesn’t know what happened to you out there?”

She rose from the booth. I couldn’t believe she was getting ready to walk away. I reached for her wrist.

“Margot, don’t go.”

“I just need some air. I need to think.” I dropped my hand, and she walked past me, through the doors, and out of the diner.

Nan returned with a pot of coffee and two white mugs. “Margot coming back in?” she asked.

I shook my head. I already knew she wasn’t coming back.

SIXTEEN

Margot

It wasn’t easy getting a ride from the diner back to the Blue Heron, but Josie was on a break from the Clean Queen and was able to drop me off. She didn’t ask what happened. I appreciated that she was one of those friends who showed up when you needed her and didn’t bombard me with the need to know every single detail. She noticed Caleb’s truck was parked at Reel Time and that was probably enough for her to know.

As soon as she dropped me off I felt quiet for the first time in twenty-four hours. The buzz of anxiety and fear had evaporated. The excitement of Caleb’s return wasn’t humming around me. The marina was quiet. Peaceful.

John had packed up early and wasn’t fishing. I was by myself and suddenly realized it was time I needed.

I walked to the end of the pier, lowered myself to sit, and dangled my legs over the side. I watched a pelican skim the top of the water with his giant bill open, ready to scoop up any minnows in his wake. The tips of his wings grazed the surface as if he was playing with the water. I thought about how when I first arrived at the beginning of the summer the shock of the environment had been an annoyance. The loud bullfrogs. The cicadas. The mosquitos and squawking seagulls. But now I observed them and soaked in all the moments they gave me. The stillness. The grounding. It was all part of Marshoak Island. Living here meant this was part of my life.

---