Page 48 of Crash Over Us

His jaw was clenched. His eyes dark, stormy.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” I opened the door to let him in. He didn’t have to say anything for me to know it was not good news. Whatever it was, it was consuming him. Eating him from the inside out. It was all over his face. Wrenching his posture. Every muscle was tense. Anger rolled off him.

“I’m leaving.” His voice was flat.

The words left his lips, but I stared at them anyway. They didn’t make sense. It didn’t sound like he had spoken them. It didn’t sound anything like Caleb.

“What do you mean leaving?” I searched his eyes, but there was nothing but storm clouds there, too.

He couldn’t look at me. He turned his head. His eyes darted out to the water. To the horizon. The empty pier. Anywhere, but in my direction.

I grabbed the front of his uniform. “Caleb, look at me. Tell me what’s going on? Why would you say you’re leaving? Storm prep? What is it?” Why did I have to work so hard to pull this out of him?

“I have orders to go to Virginia,” he stated.

I gasped. “What? What do you mean? You mean for the hurricane, right?” It was the only thing that made sense.

“No, permanent change of station orders.”

“Permanent?” I shrieked. “Orders. No. No. You said you were here and stationed here. You can’t leave. You told me that was impossible. You are a legacy Coast Guardsman. That’s what you said.”

I felt the floor fall out beneath me. I thought I was going to be sick. My breathing became rapid. I clung to him. My nails dug harder into his solid arms.

Caleb held me against him before my knees buckled.

He took a giant breath. “My commanding officer found out about the money.” His voice was low. There was no emotion. “Guthrie didn’t have a choice once he had record of me taking what is now being considered a bribe. Instead of dishonorably discharging me he gave me another choice. Because of my recent hero status in saving Gabe and my family name, he decided a transfer was a fair alternative.”

“Alternative to what?” I craned my neck to see him. “This is a punishment.”

“The alternative to being decommissioned and kicked out of the Coast Guard for the rest of my life.”

I felt my throat become tighter. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong. They can’t do that. Carrie is the one who broke the law.”

“That’s not true. I took the money, and I couldn’t lie when Guthrie asked. I admitted it. I told him all of it. The check. How I returned that. But then she showed up with the cash, and I wanted you to have it.”

“Can you appeal? What can we do?” I was desperate. I would do anything to make this stop. To keep him here. “We can hire someone. Someone to fight this.”

“No. There’s nothing to do. It’s not a civilian matter. It doesn’t work like that. I go where the orders say I go.”

“Your brother? Dad? Uncle? Doesn’t this legacy thing have some pull? That’s what everyone keeps saying. Use it. We can figure this out. Let’s go inside and we’ll brainstorm and make a list and think of who we can call.” I was trying to come up with any and all possible options. “Your dad will know what to do. Let’s call him.” I pictured Adam swooping in with his calm presence and a dad joke or two to make this all go away.

He shook his head. “I can’t stay. I have to go back to the barracks and pack.” He held me at arm’s length, testing whether I was steady enough to stand on my own.

“No. We need to fight this. There’s no packing.” I shook my head. I wasn’t going to accept it, and I wouldn’t let him accept it either.

“There is nothing anyone can do. I have to pack. I have to stop by my parents’ house. I have more things to grab there.”

“Pack? It sounds like you’re talking about going soon. When are you leaving? When did he say you have to go?” I still didn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. My stomach heaved and rolled even more. I felt perspiration in my palms and break through across my forehead.

“In the morning. I’m on the 6 am ferry to make it out before the hurricane hits. He wants me in Virginia by lunchtime tomorrow to get ahead of the storm. They’re expecting me.”

I gripped the sides of his arms. I wasn’t going to let him go. “No. You can’t leave. They can’t do this. I’ll go talk to him. I’ll tell your boss about Carrie. About Dean. It’s not that black and white. It’s way more complicated. I met Guthrie. Maybe he would listen to me. I’ll explain all of it. We can give the money back. I’ll sell the drink machine.” I started to cry. “No. You can’t leave.”

He held me close while the heavy tears soaked his shirt. “Shh. We’ll figure it out. It’s going to be okay. Somehow.”

I wrapped my arms around his back. “Don’t go. Please.”

He lifted my chin. It was the first time he let me look in his eyes. The pain I saw gutted me.

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