Page 17 of Bad At Love

Her mouth falling open, Chaaru sent DP a panicked look. As if she could take on any burden except of someone caring for her. Just as shocked by Kaasi’s opening as her, DP patted the back of her hand.

“I…Where is this coming from?” she finally said.

“The other day, when I went to their house for Diwali feast,” Kaasi said, “Shanti Auntie mentioned how you could’ve married her brother-in-law’s cousin when I was eight or nine but you refused. Apparently, they’ve all been finding guys for you up until like three years ago.”

“Why the hell is Shanti bringing that up with you?” Chaaru burst out.

“That’s not the point, Mom,” Kaasi said gently.

“What is the point then if not to sing my faults to you behind my back?” Chaaru said, throwing the quilt off her lap and shooting to her feet. Anger and hurt radiated from her. “They wouldn’t stop lecturing me how important it was for you to have a father, or how I was ruining your life, instead of throwing a kind word in my face. Don’t tell me you’re joining that camp too now.”

Her voice broke at the end there and DP’s chest ached. He grabbed her hand instinctively, wanting, needing, to show her she had someone on her side. She squeezed him back with a death grip. DP shuffled closer, the earlier awkwardness melting away.

Kaasi shook his head, his own eyes filling up. “No, Amma,” he said, slipping into his mother tongue. “I would never think I’d have been better off with dad or some other random guy.Ever.Won’t you let me explain?”

Something about his tone cut through the ache of the rift with her sister and parents. Chaaru sank back into the couch, dragging DP along. It was a tight fit, with both of them being larger than average, but he was pathetic enough to relish the closeness.

Kaasi went to his knees in front of her, took her hand and kissed the back of it. “I don’t give a shit whether you marry, ever again. We were talking about…” He shook his head and tried again. “I asked why Shanti Auntie and you aren’t close, why grandma and grandpa, why they had all just abandoned you. It’s been on my mind for years. She got defensive, said some things I didn’t like, and it didn’t end well.”

Chaaru took in a deep breath, the vibrations of it rocking through DP. “Don’t fight with them on my behalf, Kaasi. They’ve been good to you all these years and that’s more than I’ve ever expected. I don’t want you to lose them. Please, leave this alone.”

“No, I can’t,” Kaasi said, roughly thrusting his hand through his hair. His lean frame vibrated with tension. “It’s not enough that they’re good to me. That’s where the argument began with Shanti Auntie. I don’t want people who treat you awfully in my life.”

Chaaru sighed. “They’re not bad people. Just never tried to understand who I was or what I was going through. Leaving your dad and dragging him through the court case went against everything they believed.”

“Even though he was horrible to you? And don’t say theyjustdidn’t get you. Their support would have made a world of difference, no?”

“Yes, it would have,” Chaaru said. “And it broke my heart. But I had friends who stood by me,” she said, lifting their clasped hands to her mouth and pressing her cheek to the back of DP’s hand. “DP, Mona, Dominic, Kash, and Laura…I wasn’t alone.” She wiped her cheeks. “And that was a lesson I had to learn too. Enforcing healthy boundaries with my family.”

Kaasi shook his head. “I wish things hadn’t been so hard for you.”

“You are thriving today, baby,” she said, clasping his jaw, “and that’s more than enough for me. And I’m sorry for overreacting. I don’t want you to dwell on these things and get distracted when you have-”

“Stop, please.” The same stubborn-ness that was a part of Chaaru shone in the set of Kaasi’s mouth. “I might be a baby to you, but I’m also a very fine young man.” The twinkle in his eyes said he was repeating Mona’s words. “I worry about you, Mom, and I always will. And I don’t need people who don’t treat you well in my life. You deserve so much and I... hate that I can’t just magic the world to give it to you.”

Her shoulders shaking, Chaaru looked at DP helplessly. He squeezed her waist.

“I appreciate it so much that you care about me,” Chaaru said, clasping Kaasi’s hands. “Tell me what else is on your mind.”

“Will you swear to implement some of these things? Or, or…I’ll move out and get into debt and you will-”

Chaaru raised her palms. “I’ll try, okay.”

Kaasi shot up his large hand, fanning his fingers around dramatically. Apparently, he’d given this a lot of thought. “Don’t worry so much about how my life will turn out. Or at least worry less. That internship’s hopefully nailed down. One year to graduation, and I’ll work my ass off to land a good job.” His index finger shot out. “Please spend some of your hard-earned money on yourself. Go shopping with Mona auntie and not secondhand thrift stores. Book a luxury vacation this year—not one where you house-sit three dogs or wipe some grandmother’s ass. Then I want you to date again, or go on tinder,” here Kaasi’s cheeks turned red, “Or wherever you old people go to get your freak on and not feel you have to hide it for my sake.”

Chaaru sighed. “Ihavea life, Kaasi.”

“I want you to find someone,” Kaasi went on, as if she hadn’t interrupted. “Not-”

“Now who’s turning into an aggressive matchmaking Desi parent, huh?”

“I don’t want you to be alone because of me.” He looked so miserable at the prospect that DP’s chest ached.

Chaaru clasped his cheeks. “I will do all the other things you’ve highlighted. I promise. But Kaasi, andyouhave to listen to me here. A partner or a relationship…I don’t want one. I never want a person in my life who will demand I put them before you or who will tell me how to dress or eat or behave.”

“Not everyone’s like dad,” Kaasi bit out.

“I never said-”

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