Page 23 of Bad At Love

Then Chaaru was crying because her best friend was right. Despite everything she’d done to heal, the harm her ex had caused was still in her. Like a pulsing tumor hiding inside her marrow.

And yet, DP wanted her...the thought cut through the spiral.

All these weeks, she’d thought it was her fear of losing him. Instead, she feared that the man she adored would find her unworthy.

“And if things didn’t work out?” she said, still needing to walk through the worst-case scenario.

“Then you get great sex out of a hunky cinnamon roll who adores you. And when it’s not working anymore, you tell him. Because this is DP, he’ll hold you through the worst. Even if you break his heart.”

“And if…I fall in love with him?”

Mona thumped Chaaru’s temple with the heel of her palm. Hard enough that some of the mud crumbled off her face. “Then you get to live a happily ever after, you doubting dingus. That’s a good thing.”

“You’re assuming he wants that with me?” Her chest felt like an inflatable balloon, getting dangerously bigger, about to pop any second.

“I’massuming,based on the information you’ve given me and all the things I have noticed over nearly two decades, that he wants to try. And that’s all you can do in life, Char. Give something your best. Isn’t that what we’re forever telling Kaasi and Sanjana and Sid? Isn’t that what you told me when I was falling apart last year?”

“Yes, but you’re stronger than me. You walked away from a privileged life for Dominic when he had nothing. I married the first charming man my family found me, hoping for a grand adventurous life, without even getting to know him.”

“We’re strong in different ways.” Mona smiled, her teeth blindingly white against the ashy mud. “I couldn’t have raised Kaasi alone or created a housekeeping business out of nothing, with twenty staff members. You’re not that girl who got caught in an abusive marriage. If anything, you’ve nurtured the best parts of yourselfdespiteit.”

Chaaru stared into her best friend’s eyes and found the faith she had lost. Faith in herself, faith that any man could see, respect and love her for who she was.

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It wasa few hours before Chaaru and Mona emerged into the shopping area of the mall. Her skin felt tingly, her body loose and limber as if all the tightness and fears had been purged. A restless urgency claimed her now. For a moment, she considered haring off to DP’s house right then and demanding that he…

No, she couldn’t. This was way too important to mess up. Especially when she was feeling so raw from her own realizations.

“I can drop you off on the way,” Mona offered.

Through the exit with its revolving doors, Chaaru saw that the afternoon had given way to dusk. “You go ahead,” she said, eying the mall directory. “I want to treat myself to some new clothes. Especially with the trip to Cancun.”

“What? Really? But it’s all expensive boutiques in this mall,” Mona said, shock vibrating through her words. “You won’t even let me buy you a scarf from one of these places.”

“Something Kaasi said the other day stuck with me.”

“What?”

“That I should spend some of my hard-earned fucking money on myself.”

Mona blew a chef’s kiss. “That boy is wonderful.”

“Would you be okay to FaceTime once you get home? I want to run my choices by you.”

“Yes please, include me in Operation Seduce DP.”

“That’s not the only reason I’m treating myself,” Chaaru clarified, old fears and patterns raising their dirty heads.

Mona squeezed her hand. “I know. But one piece, you’ve got to buy it to knock his socks off. Promise me.”

“You got it,” Chaaru said.

After waving Mona goodbye, she walked towards the elegant boutiques. Quickly, she checked her savings account, looked at the bills that needed to be paid, and came up with a budget to spoil herself.

For years now, she’d reveled in her hard-won freedom and dressed only for herself. Even when forty had hit three years ago and unwanted suggestions began from her sister about how she should dress now that she was ‘of a mature age’.

Shaking her head, Chaaru eyed a sexy, elegant sheath in bright red that would hug her ass. The price tag made her eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. But it would be worth every cent to feel DP’s warm gaze drag down her curves.

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