Page 77 of Wicked Tricks

“What about how he treated Val, when he tossed her down the stairs? She fled the state theminuteshe was old enough. Why do you think that was? And why don’t we talk about how he straight out ignored Sammy for his whole fucking life? Or the way he spoke about Zarina to his friends, as if she were a prize for their gain?”

She swallowed a lump in her throat.

I knew I should’ve stopped there, but I couldn’t.

“He cheated on you constantly, he tortured innocent people just for fun, he wasn’t as good of a person as you think he was. I know that we’re far from saints, but he was the worst person I’ve ever met.”

“Don’t speak about your father like that,” she said quietly.

“Why can’t you just admit that he was a piece of shit?”

Reflexively, as soon as the words left my mouth, her open palm met the side of my face. She slapped me once, hard and quickly.

I touched my hand to my stinging cheek and looked down at her, tears were welling in her eyes and her jaw quivered. She inhaled shakily, before turning on her heel and storming out of the room. I stood in the same spot for a long time, my eyes focused on the same patch of carpet.

Maybe I was more like my father than I thought.

There was only one person that I wanted to talk to about everything.

I knew that I shouldn’t have.

I knew that I should have just left her alone, but I tried calling Rome anyway.

My leg bounced anxiously as I listened to the ringing tone that seemed to last forever. I didn’t expect her to answer, but the inkling of hope was there each time I dialled.

I gave up and decided to retain any amount of dignity that I had left, instead of desperately calling a woman who did not want to speak to me.

Instead, I threw myself into my work.

The reliability of numbers and mathematics would distract me just enough.

Even though I tried to remain focused, my thoughts still came back to Rome.

I found myself constructing plans to make things right, to make her mine - but I knew it was useless. She was not someone who could be won over easily, and she was definitely not someone who wanted to be pushed into anything that she had her mind set against.

My usual tactics would not work on her.

She was no submissive flower like the kind that my mother desperately wanted me to marry. Rome would not be impressed by a simple gesture, like flowers or chocolates. Nor would she take kindly to me showing up at her door and demanding that she drop the bullshit and just be with me.

Instead, I stared glassy-eyed at the spreadsheets on the screen, willing myself to concentrate.

***

The next day passed quickly in the unusual quiet of my home.

I felt out of place, and the house felt far too big for just me. I found myself at my computer for almost all of my waking hours, not wanting the free time to think - or act.

Throughout the night, I had to stop myself from getting into the car and going to her. This was not something I could force or control, and it felt foreign to me. I spent the whole afternoon trying to rid my body of the restlessness I felt by beating the heavy punching bag in the gym.

It worked, but only for a little while.

When I returned home, I found myself lingering in the hall.

The lights were off, the sun was set - the halls were dark and eerily still.

This was the longest time that I had ever been alone in this house, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.I clenched my jaw and swallowed before I wandered aimlessly out into the foyer. I went to the stairs, sitting on the second last step - and looked around the spacious home.

Wherever we lived, our homes had always, since my boyhood, been filled with people who all worked to serve The Family and our legacy.

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