Page 78 of Wicked Tricks

I supposed that I did understand the devotion and connection that people had to this lifestyle. Those who were involved, were usually brought up in it or around it, we didn’t know any other way.

It was sacred to us - it was tradition.

As much as I resented it sometimes, and felt like an imposter almost always, I knew that this was where I belonged. I felt a hint of confidence within myself the past few nights, as shitty as they had been.

I knew, now, that I could do this.

I could put my foot down and lead this family.

With a chuckle and a sigh, I slung my jacket over my shoulder before stepping out into the crisp air and hopping into my car.

On the rare occasion that I had the house to myself, and I was leaving anyway.

I sped through the winding estate, to the graveyard on the outskirts behind the tall church. Pulling to a stop at the side of the street, I got out and locked the car before rubbing my hands together and pulling my coat on.

As I stepped into the graveyard, I felt the temperature drop even further and my heart started to race.

20

Chapter 20

Antoni

Ihad always hated cemeteries.

I hated coming to them even when it was necessary, and wondered why I thought I could stomach it alone and at night. I rubbed my hands together before shoving them into my coat pockets to shield them from the cold.

Even though I could barely see, I still found my way to my father’s grave.

I had only visited him a handful of times, but finding him was like an intuitive pull, and I was guided to him easily. I took a deep breath, standing in front of the ornate headstone with two angels carved into the top just above our family crest.

“Hi Pop,” I said awkwardly out loud, kicking the dirt beneath my feet.

I could still feel the lingering tension between us even though he was long dead.

It was funny, even though he wasn’t here - I felt like a little boy again, even in his only ghostly presence.

I sat on the dewy grass, crossing my legs and resting my face in my palm.

“I don’t know what to do,” I said slowly as I winced, feeling like an idiot for talking to a rock and some dirt.

“I’ve- I’ve been doing everything right, haven’t I? I mean- business is great, we’ve had some issues but I’m working on them. But, mum,” I groaned, “you know how she is. She just won’t leave it alone.”

I felt like all I had done lately was complain, and I suddenly felt like the spoiled brat that Rome thought that I was. Maybe I would fail because I wasn’t more like my father. Maybe all of the older men in The Family were right when they said I wasn’t cut out for the job. Maybe this life was reserved for people much stronger than me.

“Why did you leave this all up to me?”

I had never in my life felt so weak or vulnerable - until now.

And for what?

A woman.

My father would have beat the living shit out of me if he saw me now.

If he had seen the way I had been behaving in the past few weeks. He believed that nothing should come before the business and the reputation of The Family.

And lately, I hadn’t cared.

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