Page 82 of Wicked Tricks

We three grew up together, and Ren and Val always had big plans of running away from it all together. But when push came to shove, Val wasn’t interested in waiting around for Ren. By the time we finished high school, he and I were already so wrapped up in the lifestyle, and what our fathers had planned for us since our birth. She was only a year younger, a year behind us in school.

But a lot had changed in that one year.

Valerie watched us both sink deeper and deeper into the life that she hated so much.

“Goodnight, Toni,” she said, her eyes tired.

I heard doors opening and shutting as she searched for a bedroom.

“How many fucking rooms do you need in one house?” I could hear her muffled yell, even from downstairs.

Then I heard her open what was probably my room, and I rolled my eyes as I heard her flop onto the bed.

“I guess I’ll take the couch,” I mumbled to myself.

I got undressed, down to my black boxers and pulled out a blanket from the trunk in the living room, and made myself comfortable on the couch.

Putting my hands behind my head, I stared at the ceiling, thinking about everything that Valerie had said. As much as I didn’t want to push Rome, I didn’t want her to think that I had given up on her either.

On the other hand, maybe I should have.

21

Chapter 21

Rome

Iwallowed for two whole days.

I gave myself those days of self pity as a gift, as a much needed adjustment period so I could dig deep and rip the old Rome from out of hiding.

The Rome who wouldn’t have blinked twice before putting a bullet in a guys’ head.

The Rome who was smart enough not to trust a man.

I searched for her for two full days.

Antoni tried calling me three times.

On the third attempt, the shrill sound of the ringtone set off something in my brain that was waiting to snap. I yanked open the sliding door to my balcony and hurled my phone as hard as I could, aiming for the apartment building across the street.

As I watched it fall, then bounce off a parked car and shatter on the ground, I instantly regretted the hot-headed overreaction.

What if Grace tried to ring me? Or Louis?

I thought about running down to try and piece it back together, but I knew it would be of no use. With a sigh, I retreated to my dark cave of comfort.

I had been in so much pain for those two days. So much came out, years of built up sadness and hurt exorcised itself from my body. I had always prided myself in how I handled my circumstances. I thought that I was brave and tough. I thought that my past, and the emotions that normal people dealt with, didn’t affect me.

But here we were.

Turns out I was human after all.

I binge ate, watched trashy reality T.V, and ugly cried in the mirror once - and then promised myself never again.

Bea checked on me periodically, and was slowly piecing together the story from the limited information that I would give her. I didn’t know how to say the words that were in my head out loud. The honesty felt unsafe and though I knew that Bea was the one person I could trust, I couldn’t make myself say the words - “I’m hurting because of this guy that I like.”

So simple.

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