Page 63 of Wicked Tricks

And the reason? Probably the most dangerous man I could have found.

Not one of the stable, safe,normaloptions that had come my way over the years?

Out of all the guys that I had already rejected on the same premise, there was no doubt that Antoni was the most dangerous option.

So why him?

Was I really so determined to sabotage myself?

I gritted my teeth as a few tears found their way out.

We drove through Mildura, and the street lights greeted us after a long stretch of dark highway. We were almost at Grace’s sister’s house. She lived in a small farming town, just by the border of Victoria and New South Wales. I already dreaded the long drive back alone, knowing that it would again be me with only my thoughts.

“Are you OK?” Grace asked softly, startling me as I thought she was still sleeping.

I ran the back of my hand over my check, clawing away the tears.

“Yeah,” I choked, gripping the wheel and keeping my eyes trained on the road.

“Is it about Antoni?” she asked, “you’re dating?”

I scoffed, “no.”

Grace dropped her head and she smiled at my defensive snap. She wrung her hands together in her lap, and my stomach dropped again because of my attitude.

So defensive all the time.

“Not exactly,” I continued, trying to make her feel better.

It wasn’t her fault.

“It’s just,” I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, “today’s brought up a lot of stuff for me. It’s just a lot.”

She nodded, understanding.

“He seems nice,” she said, refusing to drop the subject.

I scoffed again, “yeah, they all do at first. Just like you said with Luca, things are always good in the beginning.”

She shrugged, “yeah but,” she turned in her seat to face me, “there were definitely red flags that I should have noticed now that I look back. They’re not all bad. Sometimes, we just need to trust people, and let our guards down. Sometimes we get hurt, but sometimes, even the worst pain leads to something beautiful,” she said, looking back fondly at her daughter still asleep in the backseat with a thumb in her mouth, “but if you get it right, then isn’t it worth the risk? Even after today, I have faith that there is a man out there who wouldn’t dream of doing what Luca did. One who I can share my life with, and share in each other’s pain. That’s the whole point isn’t it? To not have to go through this shitty life alone?”

I nodded, staring straight ahead.

For all my life, that’s exactly what I had been trying to avoid.

But, as Grace spoke about it, something in my chest yearned for it. For the comfort and security of one person, one person to trust with everything you have - and being able to have faith that they won’t hurt you.

Was it even an achievable goal?

Did this magical relationship exist?

I certainly had never witnessed it.

We pulled into a long, winding driveway on the outskirts of the tiny town. It had one main street, and only one bar. The porch light was on, illuminating the sage green door on the two story home. I helped Grace with her things, as she got the baby out of the car.

The door opened, and a woman who could’ve passed as Grace’s twin came running out of the house with wide eyes, wrapping Grace into a tight hug as she sobbed. Grace had silent tears running down her face, stroking her sister’s hair, consoling her.

The woman turned to me with a sob and threw her hands around my neck, pulling me in and hugging me, “thank you!” she cried into my shoulder.

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