I’d exhaustedmy contacts list on the way to Lilith’s. The viking-like bouncer gave me a smileless nod on my way into the club and I returned the gesture.
The narrow, dimly-lit stairwell was much warmer than the chill of the outside air. It was so early in the night that I wasn’t even sure if anyone else would even be there yet.
People tended to leave the strip clubs until much later into the evening, rather than as an after-dinner event.
The muffled sound of a familiar, smooth R&B beat crept down the steps, just enough for it to be recognisable.
Everything in Lilith’s was tinged by the pinky-purple of the hazy neon lights, and honestly, I found the dimness comforting. There was a strange kind of safety in the darkness, in anonymity. It gave you the chance to sit back and observe, because no one was paying attention to anyone else.
Gwen was already behind the bar, preparing her station for the night. The copper-headed woman shot me a smile once she recognised me and I waved.
“Drink?” she mouthed, pointing to the empty cup in her hand.
I nodded and pressed my hands together as if she had answered my prayer. She made quick work at mixing my drink, remembering my usual order off the top of her head.
I wasn’t sure if it was because she had a really good memory, or if it was because maybe I frequented the bar here far too often.
Lilith’s wasn’t quite as loud as your general night club. The music was always played at a high volume by the stages, but at least here, you could escape to a corner or a bar and hold a conversation or hear yourself think. Which, to be honest, was the opposite of what I was going for at that moment.
What was theoppositeof thinking?
Doing?
I needed to do something. I needed action. Distraction.Anything.
Anything to help me forget about the uncomfortable kind of sensation that I felt right at the crease of my thigh where my jeans rubbed against the brand new tattoo that I got on a whim from my fucking enemy.
That little shark was here to stay now though.
I supposed I could think of a name for him.
But Gwen pushed the bluey-purple cocktail my way and I fumbled in my handbag for my wallet.
“Rome’s told you a hundred times that you don’t have to pay here!” Gwen chuckled, swatting my card away when I tried to offer it.
“I know! I just feel bad!” I chuckled, leaning over the counter to push the $10 button on her screen and then tap my card before she could cover the sensor with her hand.
Gwen shook her head, still laughing as the machine printed my receipt. She bunched it up and threw it at my head as I took a long (loooong) sip from the sweet drink.
“Is she here?” I asked after a while.
“Yeah,” Gwen motioned towards the back door with her head, “she’s in her office.”
I considered going to confide in my sister-in-law, but wasn’t even sure what I would say. Any way I spun the story sounded ridiculous, even I knew that.
“So you know that guy you all told me to stay away from? Yeah, well I went and saw him this afternoon and gave my full consent for him to tattoo whatever he wanted on my body.”
Any argument that I had with my brothers in the future about my maturity would be null and void if they found out about this.
“I’ll see her later, maybe,” I mumbled. “She’s probably busy.”
Gwen smiled again, but her expression had changed a little. And I knew exactly what had happened.
She picked up on my weird, sad energy and now she was feeling bad for me. I could practically feel the pity beaming from her big, green eyes.
Poor little princess.
She has nothing to do and no one to do it with so she has to hang out here… alone.