How many more weeks before I can fuck my husband?
The alarm beeps as I make my way downstairs, and I wonder if that means someone is coming or going? What time is it, and how late did I sleep?
I smell coffee, something I still refuse to drink, even if it does smell heavenly. But better yet, it’s mixing with the mouthwatering scent of muffins... chocolate ones. A moment later, I’m treated to the sight of Nonna in a kitchen chair, holding Brennan, while Maddox makes her a cup of coffee and Amelia lays out those muffins.
“You look beautiful,principessa,” Sam whispers, coming out of nowhere, and I jump. “Sorry,” he laughs. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He holds up an armful of bags. “Where would you like these?”
Maddox looks over at us and smiles. “Ma, you’ve got to stop buying things.”
“Nonsense,” she blows him off and hands him a banana nut muffin, like that could ever be better than that double chocolate one sitting right on top. Damn. I’m hungry. “I’m a grandmother. Let me spoil my babies.”
“Mybaby,” Maddox jokes, and his mother pinches his ear until he tugs away. “Listen to me. The beauty of grandchildren is we get to recapture some of the magic of you being young and innocent and beautiful instead of the little shitheads you and your brothers are. Let me enjoy it.”
I giggle and turn to Sam. “Is Lucky still talking about moving out?”
He shrugs. “Only on the days Amelia doesn’t threaten to throw him out.”
“He’s not doing anything his father didn’t do,” Nonna tells me without looking away from Brennan, who’s sleeping soundly in her arms. “Don’t wish these days away. Enjoy every sleepless night and every tiny worry. This life takes so much from us, and when it gives you something beautiful, let the whole family revel in it as much as we want,principe.” She looks up at Maddox. “Some of those presents are from me, and I will buy what I want. I’m holding my great grandson... something my son and my husband never got to do, and as long as I have breath left in my lungs, I’ll do what I want. Because I’m old, and you wouldn’t dare tell me no. Never forget, I’ve been feared longer than your father.” Her wry smile is a little joking and a little serious, and I’m not sure whether to look away or laugh, so I do both and take a few bags from Sam and let him follow me into Brennan’s room so we can leave them there.
“Do you need anything, Lennon?” my father-in-law asks as he pulls more clothes than Brennan will ever need out of a bag.
“I don’t think so, but thank you.” I’m still not used to the way this family is so involved in each other’s lives. It’s not a bad thing, but coming from a very different family makes walking into this a little jarring and a lot intimidating.
“Maddox said you officially announced your retirement from the Royal Ballet...”
“I did,” I answer with a sad smile. “It had been a long time coming. Dancing saved me in so many ways, but I don’t need to be saved anymore. It was time to let it save someone else.”
Sam takes a step toward the door but stops. “I don’t think dancing saved you. I think you figured out a way to save yourself and it was dancing.”
“What’s the difference?” I question as I follow him out.
“The difference is you. You refused to be a victim. You found a way to get through until you could find a way. Sometimes, knowing how to survive just to fight another day is half the battle.”
“I don’t want Brennan to have to fight battles.” Even the thought of it breaks my heart.
Sam places a hand on my back in such a fatherly move, it catches me off guard. “He’ll have his own battles to fight. We all do. But you’ll be there to support him. You and Maddox will make sure he has every tool he needs to succeed. Trust an old man.”
“Yeah... trust theold man,” Maddox laughs as he walks into the room and over to the changing table with a cranky Brennan. “He just blew out his diaper.”
“You change him, and I’ll feed him,” I offer, and my husband smiles. “And your father is not old.”
“It’s okay, Lennon. Sons will always try to out-alpha their fathers. One day, he’ll realize there is no out-alpha-ing me,” Sam tells me before walking out of the room with a swagger.
Maddox grins as he tries to clean Brennan up. “He wishes.”
I suddenly wonder if I just saw thirty years into my future.
And what a beautiful life it would be.
MADDOX
“I’ll never understand why you all call this football,” my beautiful wife bitches as every eye in the room stops and stares at her. “What? This is not football. They barely even kick the ball.”
“I swear if you keep this up, I may have to find a new sister-in-law,” Lucky moans from where he lies on the giant sectional Lennon bought for what she refers to as the game room. I mean, I guess it’s my own fault for building such a big house where we have a living room and a game room, but it still cracks me up that she has official names for all the rooms in the house. She did a killer job decorating it, either way, so I don’t complain... not too much. This room is a great mix of casual comfort and her airy, contemporary style. The giant couch can easily seat sixteen of us. All the furniture, including the ottoman she chose instead of a coffee table, have soft corners, so when the babies start walking, they won’t get hurt, according to her. Not that we’re looking at that any time soon.
Supporting her daddy in a pink Sinclair Philadelphia Kings jersey, Anastasia is sitting in the center of some kind of circular activity chair thing. I think my sister called it an exersaucer—not sure if she made that shit up or not—and Lennon loved it and ordered one when we got home that night. Cait and she have gotten really close, and I’m pretty sure I see Caitlin more now than I did when she actually lived with me.
Meanwhile, Rome is pacing around the room, trying to calm Brennan down since his screaming when the Kings missed the touchdown is what woke the baby in the first place.