Page 23 of Break Me, Daddy

“What if I can’t? What if I’m not…”

What if I’m not strong enough?The unasked question hung between them, threatening to shatter him.

“I’ll be right here with you. We’ll eat the same things, and if you need me to, I’ll even feed you. Whatever you need from me, little siren. We’re in this together.”

Tears filled her emerald eyes. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Nonsense. You deserve everything, baby.” Rising to his feet, he pulled a chair over to sit beside her. “Why don’t we start with what we know and go from there?”

“Okay.” Nodding, Frankie let out a shuddering breath. “I think I can do that.”

“All right. Two columns, one for safe, one for forbidden. And for every ‘forbidden’ food you successfully eat, you get a reward.”

“A reward? What kind of reward?”

“We’ll make another list. It could be getting to pick the movie we watch, or Daddy will buy you something pretty. Or being allowed to ride Daddy’s face until you come screaming my name.”

Red colored her cheeks. “I’m a big fan of that last one.”

“Me too, as it happens. So, starting with breakfast. Eggs. Safe or forbidden?” He already knew the answer, but he wanted her to be the one to write it down. This was her recovery and as much as he wanted to take over, she had to be an active participant.

“Safe. Though I prefer just egg whites.”

“Let’s put eggs in the safe column, then. What about lunch meat?”

“Turkey is safe. Um, it’s really the only lunch meat that is, though. The rest are too fatty. And cheese is def in the forbidden column.”

His poor babygirl. As they worked through the list, his heart sank at every item added to the ‘forbidden’ side of the page. By the time he gave her permission to shut it down for the night, the forbidden list was nearly four times as long as the safe list.

And it wasn’t just the length of the list, but the types of items on it that worried him. Truly healthy foods like carrots and other vegetables she’d deemed to have ‘too many carbs’ were on the list of things she’d been denying herself, along with various protein sources she needed to get her strength back up.

Maybe he should make her add more than one forbidden food to every meal. Because at the rate she was adding things to that list, it was going to take years to remove those foods one by one.

Rising from his chair, he crossed the kitchen to check on dinner and pull it from the oven, his mind working over the problem as he served them each up a piece of chicken and a pile of vegetables. Including carrots, which would help with that forbidden food list, at least a little. As would the ice-cream sandwiches he’d picked up at the store earlier with the intention of encouraging her to eat one after dinner. Maybe with his head buried between her thighs while she ate.

As he’d expected, Frankie wrinkled her nose at the plate when he put it in front of her. “That’s way too much food.”

“It’s four ounces of chicken and some vegetables, Francesca. It’s a perfectly healthy amount of food.” Should he be telling her how much the food weighed? Would that be something for her to obsess over later? What if he just exchanged one obsession for another?

Fuck, this was complicated. They really,reallyneeded to make that appointment with her therapist.

“Do I have to eat the carrots?” she asked quietly, and his heart broke a little more at the sadness in her voice.

“You have to try. Just a couple. Can you do that for me, baby?”

Swallowing so hard he audibly heard it, she nodded and picked up her fork. He watched as she dragged in a deep breath and stabbed at a carrot.

Time itself seemed to slow as she lifted the small orange vegetable to her lips. As she squeezed her eyes shut and opened her mouth to shove it inside.

“Good girl.” Running his hands over her hair, he granted her an approving smile when she cracked open her lids to peek up at him.

Seemingly bolstered by the praise, she pierced another carrot and slowly brought it up to her mouth. And again looked up at him, seeking his approval.

“You’re doing such a good job, baby. Can you eat one more for me?”

Little by little, she made her way through the entire plate. One hesitant bite at a time, constantly looking at him for approval as she ate. Approval he was happy to give, even if, by the time she was finished, it left him feeling hollowed out.

How had she survived this, not just once, but twice now? She was so fucking strong he was in awe of her, even as he mourned the need for that strength.

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