Page 60 of Break Me, Daddy

“I dumped him because he deserves better.” Pausing to lean back against the railing, Frankie shrugged, a single jerky motion that did little to dispel the restless itch beneath her skin. “He deserves a submissive who knows how tobea submissive.”

The three women in front of her all shared a look before Ivy spoke up again. “Don’t you think he should get the final word in what he deserves? And what he wants?”

“No, because he’s blinded by what he thinks is love. You’ve known him longer than anyone, Ivy. Have you ever known him to tolerate brats?”

“Well, no, but?—”

“Exactly,” Frankie snapped out, resuming her pacing. “He can’t stand brats, and somehow he’s fallen head over heels in love with me, arguably one of the biggest brats out there? Make it make sense.”

“Love doesn’t have to make sense,” Ruby said, her voice soft, almost patronizingly so. “On paper, Beckett and I don’t make any sense. Neither do Braden and Lottie, if we’re being honest. No offense, L.”

“None taken. If you’d told me two years ago I’d be sleeping with my father’s best friend, I would have laughed in your face.”

Frankie groaned. “Ugh, you guys aren’tlistening.”

“Then tell it to us straight instead of beating around the bush.” Silver’s gaze was fierce when it clashed with Frankie’s. “You’re giving us all the reasons you don’t think you deserve Holden, but you haven't told uswhy. So, tell us. Help us understand.”

It was a fair ask. But even all these months later, it was still humiliating to think about, never mind actuallytalkabout what had happened between her and Holden.

“All right. I’ll tell you.”

Everyone seemed to sit up a bit straighter as she dragged in a deep breath and prepared to tell them about the night she’d been the worst possible version of herself. “It was a few weeks after we’d been seeing each other. A couple nights after he’d punished me, likereallypunished me for the first time. Lottie remembers.”

Lifting a hand, Lottie fanned it in front of her face. “Hell yeah, I do. It was before I put myself in the auction, and I was terrified but really fucking turned on at the same time.”

“Yeah, well, so was I. Which was part of the problem. My punishment included not being allowed to come that night. But then something happened at Holden’s work and one night dragged into days. By day three, I was pretty sure I was dying so I decided to distract myself with drinking.”

“That’s what I would’ve done,” Ruby said, lifting her half-empty glass with a grin.

“Yeah, well, I got drunk. Likereallydrunk. And somehow I ended up at Holden’s office, trying to seduce him. He turned me down, as he should have, considering how wasted I was. But at the time, it just felt like another rejection.”

“Another?” Brows rising, Ivy looked at her with something akin to wonder. “I can’t imagine anyone rejecting you.”

“Men? Not often. My parents, on the other hand… pretty regularly.” As evidenced by her father’s most recent behavior.

Ivy’s eyes swam with sympathy. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”

“It is what it is,” Frankie said with another jerk of her shoulder.

Silver tilted her head to the side. “So what happened? You guys got in a fight because he wouldn’t fuck you?”

“More like I just got really pissy about it. Stormed off, told him I never wanted to see him again. It was all pathetically dramatic. Of course, the next morning I woke up and remembered what a bitch I’d been, which was when I realized he deserved so much better than me. Like, who gets mad at a man for refusing to fuck you when you’re obviously too drunk to consent? It was awful and self-absorbed of me, and I refused to subject him to that any further. So I ended things for good. Well, as much as I could considering he wouldn’t leave me alone even after I made it abundantly clear I wasn't interested anymore.”

“Frankie.” Eyes suspiciously wet, Lottie rose from her chair and crossed the deck to wrap her arms around Frankie’s shoulders. “You’ve been punishing yourself all this time. Poor thing.”

“That’s not what I’ve been doing. I just wanted him to move on and find a woman who deserved him.”

“Bullshit.” In direct contrast to Lottie’s tears, Silver’s eyes were blazing when she joined them by the railing. “If you’d really felt that way, you wouldn’t have had the hospital call him when you got sick. You wouldn’t have agreed to move into his house so he could take care of you. You may think you’re that selfish and self-serving, but I guarantee not a goddamn person here agrees with that assessment.”

“You barely know me,” Frankie tossed back, her own temper sparking in response to Silver’s fury. “Maybe I am just that bitch.”

“I know you.” It was Lottie’s quiet voice, thick with tears that effectively doused the fire of Frankie’s anger as she turned to her best friend. “I’ve watched you fight yourself back from the brink of death. I’ve watched you come to my aid, time and time again. You were there for me when my mom got sick, and after…” Rolling her lips together, Lottie breathed in deeply through her nose, clearly attempting to keep the tears at bay. “You made sure Dad and I ate and took care of ourselves. You and Braden. Even though you were at school, and you couldn’t be there every day, you sent food. You called every fucking day to check on me, to listen to me cry on the phone. You, Francesca Legare, are the farthest fucking thing from selfish. Maybe you think Holden deserves better, but I don’t see how he’s going to find anyone better than you.”

The cracks in her heart, ones she’d thought long-healed, split open again. “He deserves someone who isn’t so fucking broken. Someone he doesn’t have to watch and take care of every second of every day. He deserves so much more than I have to give him.”

“Honey, we’re all fucking broken in our own ways.” Joining them at the railing, Ruby smiled, but it wobbled a bit. “And yeah, we can’t rely on a man to fix us, because fuck that. We’re not damsels in distress waiting for some shining knight to come along and slay our dragons. But if we’re really fucking lucky, someone comes along anyway and fights our dragons right alongside us. And I’d say you’re really fucking lucky.”

And with the that, those cracks in her heart turned to canyons, shattering her as she turned into Lottie’s embrace and wept.

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