Page 45 of The Boyfriend Gamble

I arched an eyebrow.

“He’s about Jacob’s age.”

So just a handful of years older than us. “Are you attracted to him?”

She blushed pink. “Of course not. That would be wildly inappropriate.”

More inappropriate than her flying to Europe and staying with this guy while she decorated his house? I couldn’t wrap my mind around this.

“Okay. So we’ll put off the engagement. If you’re not back by—”

“I’m not marrying you, Felix.”

My stomach dropped out, a feeling of dread overtaking me. “We promised our mothers.”

She blinked. “I know.” She scrubbed her face. “Okay, so maybe I can turn him down. Or…like you said…come back after I’m done. You’d be willing to wait?”

In that instant, I knew. I saw both her life and mine clearly—our futures—and the worlds didn’t intersect. She wasn’t meant for small-town living in a rustic cabin with me. I wasn’t meant to pine over her and wait for her to come home. I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’d wait, Josette. But that’s not really what you want. You might not stay in Europe, but we both know your talents would be wasted in Mission City. You’re destined for greater things—and I think we both need to acknowledge that.”

She blinked, as if bringing me into focus. “You’re relieved.”

Now I winced. “Never doubt that I love you, okay? But I love you like a best friend. Not as a man should love a woman. Not as a husband would love his wife. I’d have done right by you. Never question that, okay? Yet…you’re right.” Possibly the hardest words I’d ever uttered.

“Oh, Felix.”

She held her arms open, and I stepped into her embrace. Like coming home. Like I felt when my mom or Aunt Linda held me. Protected and treasured.

Eventually, I pulled back. I smiled as I swiped at her tears.

She bit her lower lip. Then she ventured to speak. "What would you do if I moved away?"

“Uh…”

“Be honest, Felix.” Her blue eyes held a wariness.

Go for it.“There’s a guy…”

She nodded as if she’d expected this response. As if she’d known I was gay. Might that be part of why she was headed to Europe? Because she’d known we were never going to be compatible?

“I didn’t know I was gay. Or that I am gay. Or that I might be gay.”

After a moment, she pressed a finger to my lips. “I have to say I’m not surprised.”

“Because we haven’t made out?”

She smiled kindly. “Because you’ve never looked at me that way. And I appreciate you would’ve married me and we would’ve had kids and life would’ve been amazing, but that’s not what we were destined for.”

“Is this count going to treat you right? Like the precious and wonderful person you are?”

“Of course.”

Yet I caught a flicker of uncertainty in those blue orbs. She wasn’t one-hundred percent certain. But she was going anyway.

She grabbed my hand. “So there’s a guy?”

I winced. “Well, I tried to, um…”

“And he rejected you?” She squeezed tightly.

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