Page 26 of Designation: Null

“Shh, you’re okay. This is good, right?”

“Yes,” he whispers. His chest hurts as if sand is being poured inside his chest. Weight and hurt and awfulness clawing to life inside him.

“How about I stand a little differently? I’m not going to stop hugging you. Is that okay?” Robert asks.

Logan wants to growl at him. They just talked about this! But then Robert is putting a bit of space between them, and Logan realizes he’s pulling back and adjusting so he doesn’t grind Logan into the door. Logan is arched into him, pressing his soft cock all against Robert. That part of him is desperate and wanting, too.

Robert is just helping Logan not be so obvious in how useless that part of his anatomy is. Logan’s grateful.

Well, he should be grateful.

Maybe he isn’t.

In fact, maybe he hates how little Robert gives him. How every move and gesture is analyzed. Restrained. He wants to cry. The urge to cup himself since he can’t be pressed against Robert is agonizing. He needs support. Hands on his chest, cupping his cock, sinking inside his body.

Robert puts his hand on the back of Logan’s head, encouraging him to rest his forehead on his shoulder. It’s so nice. He breathes Robert in. Clean skin, expensive cologne.

“I feel like one of your sisters,” Logan mumbles.

“Hmm.” Robert’s response makes him think he didn’t say the right thing, but he isn’t sure why.

“They just wanted to be near you,” Logan clarifies. “And they seemed so happy when you held them,” he explains, everything getting fuzzier by the moment. Though they probably don’t want Robert to put his hands… oh. Yeah, he didn’t mean to say that.

“Logan, why would you send me a picture? Of what?”

He breathes in and out a few times before he can piece together a response. “Punishment. You could punish me and then you wouldn’t be mad anymore. But I could do it on my own and send you a picture so it wouldn’t take time out of your day.”

Robert’s body stiffens against his. “Have you done that for others?”

“No,” he lies. Is it a lie?

There’s a hesitation. Robert is thinking. That’s fine. Logan can just stay where he is. “Logan, would you like to submit? At all? To anyone?” But he doesn’t say “to me,” which is really the only thing Logan would want. He wouldn’t accept, though.

“No, I… I told you I don’t like Dominants and I’ve never submitted. I wouldn’t know how. I’d be awful at it. And if I feel submissive now, that’s you. It’s not my fault. I’m not trying to be this way,” Logan says, and he lets Robert go, giving him space to prove it’s not him being weak and needy.

Robert moves back, hands shoved back into his pockets, smile small and fixed. “Okay. Well, I don’t want to pressure you, but if you ever decide you want to submit, or you would feel better if you did, then you can always come to me and I’ll be careful, try not to trigger anything in your past.”

“What do you mean?”

“By trigger?”

“Yeah.”

“I mean that sometimes someone will say or do something and it can make one feel like they’re reliving a very unpleasant experience. You don’t have to submit to me. I won’t ever put you in that position, but if you need something or want to try, if you trust me with that, then I’ll be careful. Do you understand?”

“Maybe.”

Someone knocks on Robert’s door. He turns his head, glancing at the clock. “Shit. I have a meeting. I’m sorry.”

“No. That’s for the best. I should go,” Logan says. It’s hard to pull away, like warm taffy that won’t snap.

Robert backs up three steps. Maybe he feels it too? He doesn’t look happy. He’s watching Logan carefully, brow furrowed.

“Raincheck on lunch?” Robert asks. “I’m glad you had a good mission. And I think—um, if you want to talk about this more at another time, we can do that.”

“I don’t,” Logan says, and shakes his head, as if clearing away a punch.

Robert blinks at him. “Okay.”

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