Page 37 of Designation: Null

Robert nods.

If Logan were feeling more like himself then this would be a perfect time to pick a fight. Argue that he is null, that Robert isn’t treating him like he deserves. And then he could use that righteous anger to help him get on with his day and put this whole experience behind him. Go back to being strong and alone.

But another word for null is invalid. Zero. Nothing.

What they did wasn’t nothing. That storm of lust and emotion he experienced at Robert’s direction is not the provenance of someone whose life is nothing.

That space of submission and release is still so close that trying to go back to being nothing is painful.

He wants to linger in this quasi-submissive state for as long as he can and enjoy the possibility between them—of Robert as a Dominant and Logan as someone who could have this beautiful man. Be worthy of him.

“Why did you say it pleased you? Me doingthat?”

Robert doesn’t answer right away. “Well, I don’t want you to go running for the hills, but I liked that you released just from me touching you. I liked you in my office and covered in my jacket. I was happy you trusted me enough to say ‘yes’ when I wanted to drop you, and…” Robert takes a breath. “I’ll leave it at that, I think.”

He takes a drink of his beverage.

“Leave it at that,” Logan repeats. “What else is there?”

“The bit that would make you run for the hills,” he says evasively. “I think, anyway. Things that a null wouldn’t find appealing about interacting with a Dominant.”

Logan fiddles with the lid of his drink. “I won’t. Not from you,” he says, and is both pleased and surprised that the universe doesn’t just swallow him whole for being so bold.

Robert raises a brow. “What appeals to me as a Dominant, not as your friend or a coworker, but as a base part of myself, are not professional things I should comment on.” He takes a deep breath, brow furrowed. He’s gorgeous and Logan can feel the Dominant warmth of him teasing at his skin from across the table. He wants to sink to his knees and go closer.

Isn’t this how it starts? The road to submissive depravity?

“I feel like I’m trying to wear two hats here, but I don’t know if I’m doing a great job at either one. I realize you are null, but everyone’s designation fluctuates up and down. Perhaps you are null most of the time, but what we’re dealing with here is your submission. I’m responding to your submission, which is something you dislike about yourself.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” He doesn’t sound pleased with Logan’s response.

“You’re right. I don’t have an argument against what you’re saying. Coming in my pants because you were…whatever,that’s not something I’d do if I wasn’t submissive. I understand that reality.”

Robert nods. There’s a line between his brows and Logan likes that, too.

“I know you’re not comfortable with your submissive side, Logan. And I don’t want to say something you might find insulting tomorrow. Ultimately, you need someone you’re comfortable with, who can be there for you if there’s a problem. I want to be that person. I don’t want to jeopardize that by saying something that will seem sleazy later.”

“That’s okay,” Logan says, then hides behind a bite of his sandwich.

“What is ‘okay’exactly?” Robert asks, voice hard, gaze intense.

“You can tell me?” Logan tries.

“No. I don’t think so,” he says.

Maybe he’s just as uncertain as Logan is. Robert continues, “You’re a big boy. If you want to know what appealed to me as a Dominant, then you’re gonna have to do a better job asking. Be specific. I don’t want you asking me things because you think I want you to. Logan, you feeling like you have someone you can come to is the most important thing to me. Much more important than the sexual aspect or possibilities between us. I can put all of that aside and be your friend. Do you understand? We don’t have to go in that direction. At all. I’ll be whatever you need.” There’s enough uncertainty in his statement that Logan is sick just hearing it. This is not a Dominant who should ever be uncertain or question his behavior. A good submissive puts a Dominant at ease, allows them to feel confident.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want that from you, either,” Robert says firmly. “I’m not saying no. I’m happy to tell you what I like. I just have to know it’s what you want. Not for me but for you. There are a lot of mixed signals.”

Logan takes a bite of his sandwich while he thinks. His throat is dry and he’s not sure he can get the bite down, but it’s too late now.

“Yeah. Mixed signals. I’m not good at this.”

“At what? Knowing what you want or asking for it?”

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