Page 40 of Designation: Null

“I just woke up this way.”

“On your right or left side?”

“Left. Why?”

“And you went to medical?”

“No. I’ll go in a day or two. I’ve been there a lot over the last two weeks.”

“They need to run your levels if something like this happens. Especially if you are unpartnered.”

“I’m null.”

Robert smiles tightly at him. “I’m aware. But everyone else has guidelines to follow. I’m not sure you should be an exception to that.”

“Fortunately for me, the military disagrees with you.”

His gaze narrows and he doesn’t say whatever he’s thinking. Logan drops his gaze and has the urge to apologize.

“I don’t want to fight with you,” Logan whispers.

“We’re not fighting. I’m not mad.”

“You didn’t come to check on me.”

“Back-to-back missions didn’t leave a lot of time to visit. You could come see me, too.”

“If I was submissive, you’d have checked up on me, wouldn’t you?”

“I suppose I would have,” he says, voice low. Careful.

“You’re avoiding me.”

“That’s overstating it. I’m treating you as if you’re null or Dominant and don’t need or want to be coddled. Is that wrong, Logan?”

“Why do you keep saying my name?”

“Because you’re not submissive. You’re not honey, sweetheart, or boy.”

“Oh my god,” he whispers, world reorienting with those endearments. “If I was submissive, is that what you would call me? Boy? Really? That’s ridiculous. Paternalistic and old-fashioned. And you’d want me to call you—” He stops; the word is like a speed bump and he can’t even get it out. “Robert. That’s your name.” Okay, that is just lame. Logan wants to run away and hide, he’s so embarrassed. And, even more annoying, calling Robert by his name doesn’t feel great, either.

Logan laughs, the sound jagged. “I never realized I was missing out on anything good by being null. I was so fucking smug. All I could see were the things I avoided and escaped. But what if there are good things, too? Not Daddy, though,” he says, pleased he got the word out, after all.

“I don’t know. What if there are good things?” Robert asks, sounding exhausted. As if Logan exhausts him.

Can he go back and come back in and start all over again? Robert is the last person he wants to pick a fight with.

“It hurts just to stand here,” Logan whispers. It isn’t fair. If he was submissive, wouldn’t Robert come to him?

“The fact that you can’t turn your head makes me wonder if it’s a gland issue. How is your chest?”

“What?”

“Your pecs. How hard are they? Do they ache? Can you touch them?”

“I don’t know.” He can feel the heat of shame climbing up his neck and into his cheeks at the frank question. He doesn’t touch them. Not ever.

There’s a long moment where Robert does nothing more than look at him. It’s too much, almost overwhelming. Logan’s heart starts to pound, desire crawling up from his stomach, throbbing through his nipples. The glands in his neck, an inch below his jaw, tingle.

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