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He watches Robert until he falls asleep.

13

The pain drags Logan toward consciousness. It’s a dull ache, deep in his chest. Initially, there’s enough of an ebb and flow that he can ignore it and drift. But it gets worse.

Impossible to ignore.

He tries not to focus on it. Tries to think about how comfortable he is, how safe he feels in Robert’s space, warm from his coat. He wants desperately to just be sheltered, but the pain drags him up, forcing him awake.

Logan presses his hand to his chest, but that causes a flash of agony so bright that he cries out.

“What is it, Logan?” Robert asks. Footsteps come closer but Logan can’t look at him for fear of what he’ll say or do.

His hand slides carefully through Logan’s short hair. Robert is warm and he smells so good.

Robert is strong.

And he fixes everything.

“How… how long has it been?” His voice is rusty.

“An hour, maybe. You didn’t settle for long. You’ve been restless and uncomfortable. Are you ready to be honest with me now? Where are you hurting?”

“I should go,” he says. He places his own hand protectively against his chest, the lightest touch over where he’s hurting the most.

“That doesn’t sound like a good idea. Can I test you?”

“What? No,” he says instinctively, because he’s cognizant enough to know that he’d definitely be deep in a submissive range if he let Robert test him. “You knew. You said my chest hurt and now it’s unbearable. You did this to me.”

“That isn’t how it works, Logan.”

“How did you know?” He meets Robert’s gaze. He could get lost in Robert’s warm hazel eyes.

Take care of me, he thinks.

Logan presses his palm flat against his chest, a harsh, hot burn radiating outward, much more intense than it was an hour ago. He looks down, as if there would be some way to see the pain through his shirt, but of course he can’t.

He flexes the muscle of his pec, like a sore tooth he can’t avoid prodding with his tongue.

“I can’t touch it. It’s too much.” Logan realizes what he’s said and hunches in on himself. He’s too comfortable here. He’s let down his guard, doesn’t have the necessary barriers he needs to keep his mouth shut.

He’s weak, lonely, and wanting. And this is the man who can help him. He could give himself to Robert and he’d be safe. He’d also be submissive. How would he ever come back from something so good? How could he continue to choose pain if he’s experienced pleasure?

“I can’t.”

“What do you want, Logan? I can’t let you leave like this. You’re not well. Even without testing you, I can tell. You can touch yourself, even yourself out, and I’ll watch over you. Or I can help. But those are your options. You’re burning up, honey,” he says, and Logan realizes how cool Robert’s hand is against his face.

Logan wraps his hand around Robert’s wrist, keeping him close. He presses his lips against Robert’s skin and licks him.

“My tongue tingles.”

“Poor boy. That’s a sign of extreme deficiency. A reaction to the hormones on my skin. Let me help you, Logan.”

Robert kisses Logan on the forehead, like a benediction, and Logan whimpers and tilts his head back, offering his mouth.

Robert doesn’t kiss him. He hovers and waits. “It’s me or medical, Logan.”

As if it’s a choice.

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