Page 45 of Designation: Null

What would it feel like to be fucked? To have Robert inside of him? What if Robert told him his pants had to come off, too? That he needed to be fucked and Logan didn’t have a choice but to let it happen?

“You’re hard. Give that to me, too,” Logan babbles.

Robert gasps, hips jerking up, as if he wants to fuck deep into Logan’s body.

But then it’s gone. Robert shifts Logan back an inch, severing the connection between them.

Logan aches everywhere, as if he’s just been slammed into the ground, bones cold and aching, once again alone. Now he’s zero.

“Where did you go?” Logan asks.

“What?” Robert’s voice is rough. His nostrils flare and he stares hungrily at Logan’s mouth. He wants to kiss Logan but doesn’t. He wants to grip Logan’s chest hard, make agony and pleasure roil through him, but he isn’t. He wants to fuck Logan, but he won’t.

Because Robert is in control of his dominance.

Logan shivers, misery spiking, as the reality of the situation becomes clear to him.

“I don’t want to be your job, Robert. You’re hurting me.”

Robert grips his chin, forcing eye contact. “Is that how it feels? How am I hurting you, Logan? This is important.”

“I’m cold. Tell me what to do and I will,” he offers, like some pathetic animal. “Take care of me,” Logan pleads, voice shaking with how much it costs to ask. He’s begging. His father said Daniel begged any man that passed to fuck him.

And now he’s just like him. His father will find out and put him away. What if this is his only chance to be with Robert? As if he’ll ever get back to being null when he feels this lost and needy. Maybe his days of pretending, of clinging on to the fantasy of being a null, are over forever. Can he have Robert just once before he’s put away?

Logan presses his lips against Robert’s, finally getting to kiss him, taking him by surprise. He licks at the seam of his lips, wanting to taste him. “I need to know,” he gasps, and Robert groans and lets Logan kiss him, opening his mouth and then taking over, hand hard in Logan’s hair, urging his head to the side so he can kiss him deeply, assert control.

Logan was cold, almost frozen, but now he’s drowning in the heat of Robert’s dominance, and Logan cries out, releases, and still the dominance is there.

Harsh and prickling. More of it for Logan to accept and swallow down.

“Daddy,” he whimpers, giving in, getting to say it just the once.

Going from one extreme to the other is overwhelming, and he desperately wants to ask Robert to tone it down, but he won’t risk Robert denying him again. Logan will get used to it. Adapt and accept for his Daddy.

Logan hauls in a breath, forcing himself to slump into Robert and relax, letting it wash over him.

“Are you okay?” Robert asks, already pulling it back.

“No! Don’t go. More,” Logan begs, because he can take it and he wants Robert to let go so he can too.

Robert growls at him and touches Logan’s chest, palms over his nipples as he works from the sides in, kneading the flesh. It hurts but the pain is subsumed in the heat of Robert’s skin, an onslaught of sensation that’s hot and deep inside him.

“Thank you. Thank you, Daddy,” Logan whispers, clutching at him.

“Don’t thank me, sweetheart, when you’re giving me everything and being so sweet. Does it hurt?”

“I want it,” he says, fingers digging into Robert’s shoulders. The only thing that matters is making sure Robert doesn’t stop.

“That’s good, because you’re going to get it. You’re beautiful. Look at your poor chest, baby. You’re rock hard. We can’t have that. This has to go. This isn’t something we’re going to let continue, is it?” he says, almost hypnotizing.

Robert has decided and Logan needs to say yes now.

“Yes, Daddy,” he finds himself agreeing.

Robert nods, grip firmer, dominance pressing in on Logan from all sides. Logan doesn’t know why he tries to catalog how he feels, but he does. Maybe it’s just because that’s what he’s always done with pain—isolate each particular element and ache to see if any of them can be enjoyed. This is just like that. The dominance is good, horribly good, but hard to enjoy at face value.

Logan has to breathe right and accommodate it, make space in his chest and core, remind himself what feels good ormightfeel good if it’s given enough time. Like the prickling sting he’d initially felt. Now it’s just a shivery heat, and the oppressive weight is sort of like a hug.

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