“I think I should call an ambulance.”
“Why?”
“What if he needs to be put in the system? How am I protecting him by keeping his secret? How did he get all these drugs? No one can get drugs in this quantity. Everything about this is wrong.”
Jim is quiet for a few moments. “I’m coming over.”
Robert wants to protest, say it isn’t necessary. “I came to check on Logan and I overreacted. I smelled blood and I panicked and started yelling at him to open the door, but he was just… taking care of himself, and there was blood and so I’m here, at his place, and he’s passed out and I’ve cleaned up all the blood and I should stay to explain myself and apologize, and I… I can’t fucking do that. I’m ninety percent sure he’s fine. This is what he wants. But I can’t see this. I cannot sit by and allow him to make this choice.”
Sometimes it seems like he’s spent all of his life being a rock for everyone else. When he became a Dominant, it felt like his responsibility and he enjoyed it.
But he has no control here. Over Logan. And it turns out the idea of just letting Logan be, accepting him, is beyond him.
Jim sighs. “It’s hard to watch people we care about make bad choices. And for Dominants it’s even more difficult because we always think we know best. We want to fix things. We want to help. But we don’t know what’s best for people and we can’t decide for them. And you know that. Robert, there’s no shame in needing to take care of yourself, too. I’m not gonna lie, it’s been a little weird that you’ve bounced back so quickly.”
“You think I’m… what? Focusing on him so I don’t have to focus on myself?”
“You said it. I’m on my way, Robert. You’ve done all you can.”
“I haven’t. I haven’t done a damned thing for him. All I’ve done is watch him flounder and suffer.”
“Actually, Hank’s face would beg to differ. You’re compromised. He is incapable of giving proper consent. You need a witness and someone who isn’t biased. What’s the address?”
Robert gives it to him.
“What is he doing now?”
“Sleeping.”
“And where are you?”
“In the living room.”
“Stay there. Do not go into the bedroom with him. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Robert is sitting outside Logan’s bedroom door with his back to the wall, waiting in some half-conscious state when he hears Jim come in the door that he’d left ajar.
“What do I say to him?” Robert asks, and the tears fill his eyes again.
Jim looks around curiously before meeting Robert’s eyes. “Shit. I don’t know. But it’s the middle of the night and I can tell you that neither of us is going to come up with the right thing to say tonight. In the morning we’ll talk about it, you’ll call your therapist, and we’ll work this out,” Jim says, refusing to look away from him.
Robert nods, ashamed.
Jim puts a hand on his shoulder reassuringly.
“I’ve got this. I’ll keep him safe. Go home.”
It feels wrong to leave. “I can’t. What if my leaving him is why this happened?”
Jim frowns at him. “Is that possible?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. He was submitting for me and we were interrupted. I had to leave him and then he came home and did this? Any submissive that behaved this way would be assigned a Dominant. It’d be assumed he crashed because he interpreted the separation as abandonment.”
“True. But he’s not submissive. Go home, Robert.”
“I can’t do that.”
Jim exhales and then nods. “Fine. We’ll both sleep on the couch, then. I’ll go look in on him first.”