Page 57 of Designation: Null

“Jim is right,” Robert says, squeezing Logan’s shoulders gently. “An example then, of how things would change. Anal sex,” he says, and Logan flinches.

Robert releases him, hands open, worried at his reaction.

“Don’t let me go.”

Robert carefully puts his hands back on Logan, but it isn’t good enough. He shoves his face into Robert’s chest, settling there. Being close will make it easier to hear about. Robert slides his hand into the mass of Logan’s hair, comforting him. Logan exhales shakily.

“We’d have anal sex, Logan. It is likely to make you very submissive and docile. You’d crave receiving it and I want to give that to you. Most likely we’d do that often. If it kept you in a headspace that made you happy, kept your levels even, meant you felt good and taken care of, then I’d fuck you on a schedule to keep you in that zone. Your reaction just now, flinching but coming closer, trusting me to keep you safe, is exactly how a good submissive boy would react to something he found both exciting and frightening.”

Logan’s fingers dig into his skin and his cheeks turn pink. He nods sharply once in agreement. But he doesn’t have the words to agree to Robert’s plan. Robert says it so calmly, as if he’s thought about it, as if it’s right and appropriate, and what if it is? What if that is exactly what he needs?

“What if it’s difficult?”

“It won’t be more difficult than what you do with your flogger. There won’t be blood. You’d feel pleasure. Pleasure and safety and comfort. Sweetheart, I don’t think you have any idea how you’remeantto feel, how good this can be. But it can. It would be good between us. I swear I’ll do right by you, Logan.”

“I believe you.” He does. It’s such a big shift in his identity that it’s hard to focus on and imagine. But he does trust Robert, does want to be with him, and he’s certain, horribly certain, that his desire for Robert will make everything easy. He’s done his best to not think about Robert sexually, how he wants him, what that would be like; it’s a door he’s done his best to keep closed because it’s terrifying to accept just how much he wants Robert.

Accepting his desire for Robert means he’s been wrong about Dominants. About sex. About his views. It means his father is cruel, his brother is even more of a tragedy, and that his life might come to a cold halt if his father can take him away and put him into stasis.

“What are you thinking?” Robert asks.

18

“I’m thinking my family would lock me up, freeze me, and throw away the key. Buried so far underground you’d never find me. That’s what scares me more than anything.”

“They couldn’t, Logan. Because you’d belong to me. We’d do it legally, make sure you were protected with my name and status. They wouldn’t be able to touch you. I wouldn’t let them.”

“It isn’t that easy,” Logan says because Robert doesn’t know just how powerful his family is. “My father has already done it once. My brother, Daniel, is submissive. He’s my twin. We both joined the military together and we both went through the Designation program, but he came out with high needs. He didn’t even want to control himself. My father tried everything to get Daniel’s needs under control but couldn’t. He’s been put back in stasis and my father swears that if the time is right and medicine advances enough that Daniel will come back out, but…. He’ll put me away, too.”

“The other option is I can be Logan’s Dominant of Record,” Jim says.

The man is annoying. How do they get him to leave? “No,” Logan retorts.

Robert throws Jim a glare.

Jim shrugs. “I’m impartial. If it doesn’t work out, he should have someone objective who can help him. If it would keep Logan’s father off his back—”

“No,” Logan says again. “I want Robert.”

Jim scowls, seeming to have a silent conversation with Robert. Then Jim rolls his eyes. “Fine. He’s an adult. You’re an adult. You both can make your own decisions. I was just trying to help. People make relationship decisions all the time. If you two want to elope and see what happens, then go for it.” Jim winces. “I’m very sorry to hear about your brother, Logan. Maybe we can start looking into his case, see if there is something we can do to get him back.”

“Good idea. What’s your brother’s name? Where is he being stored?” Robert asks.

“Daniel Burrows. Private Second Class. I don’t know where he is. My father won’t tell me. He was in San Diego when I saw him last, but that was six years ago.”

“I’ll get on it first thing,” Jim promises.

“I think we should make it legal so you’re protected from your family,” Robert says. “That’s the first thing we do.”

“Thank you,” Logan mumbles, overwhelmed with relief that Robert (and Jim, too) is going to do this for him. Them. Because Robert wants him just as much as Logan wants Robert.

“Okay. Robert will be your Dominant of Record so your father can’t take you away. Believe me, it doesn’t matter who he is, he can’t interfere with that,” Jim says. “Submissives already don’t have a lot of rights and the public has a great deal of sympathy for them. A father keeping a grown adult away from the man he loves just because of his designation? The nonprofits would be all over it, wanting to take the case to the Supreme Court.”

Logan doesn’t think it’s that easy, but maybe it is.

“What are you thinking, Robert?” Jim asks.

He turns to Jim. “I think I need you to make sure I do what’s best for Logan. Today we will get the paperwork filed, and Logan and I will immediately go on leave so we have a few weeks to be together. We will use that time to explore what it’s like for him to be my submissive. If Logan likes what we do together then he won’t want to go back to being null. But if being submissive really doesn’t suit him then I’ll need your help to make sure I let him go. And you’d have to help us get him back into his preferred range as a null.”

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