Page 28 of Designation Prey

Liam laughs. “No, I’m not. I won’t record anything we do, Daniel, if that’s what you’d prefer.”

Daniel looks at the man beside him. Really looks. At his strong hand on the wheel, the cut of his jaw, the perfection of his profile. His soft hair and the shape of his mouth. Desire is there—a longing so sharp it could kill him.

“I don’t want him or anyone to know what we do together. Swear to me you won’t tell anyone, not ever.”

“What if disclosure could help you? If getting what you need makes you healthier, your father might let you live your life.”

“I know him. You’re wrong. If submission makes me better then I’ll be one of those statistics.”

Liam sighs heavily and doesn’t answer right away, thinking it over. Which is what Daniel needs to surrender completely to this man and his own biology. He needs Liam to be on his side, to be honest, a man of his word.

“He will know you were with me. He’ll know we slept together. He’ll know your health has improved. I can leave out as much as possible, but if I’m ordered to be honest, I don’t see how I can keep my promise as you are envisioning it.”

“My father will not want to know. He will bury any reports you write, and he’ll bury you if you try to help me. When our time is over, you say that Daniel Burrows has a confused designation and was unresponsive to treatment, but for reasons of confidentiality you can’t be more specific. It’s a complicated case best dealt with by those above your rank. You do that and we’re—” He pauses to take a breath. “I’m yours.” For as long as he gets the Dominant.

“What if that’s a death sentence? What if that is the worst possible thing I can do for you?”

Daniel snorts. “Let’s not be melodramatic. The worst thing that can happen to me is getting nothing out of this. You heard Dr. Chang. I’m already close to death. My life is already decided. I belong to my father until the day one of us dies. You’re not changing my future, Commander Stone. I hate to burst your bubble, but you are, at best, a pleasant interlude in the shitshow of my life. You want to help me, make it good for me. Give me something to remember when—” He gasps. Once again, he can’t say more. It’s too awful.

“Alright. I swear,” Liam whispers, solemn and regretful enough that Daniel believes him.

That kills the conversation for approximately three miles. Daniel’s never had the chance to have an honest conversation about this with someone before. His brother should have been the one, but he was null, clinging on to that by a thread, as far as Daniel could tell, and he didn’t want to hear anything about submissive desires and inclinations. His brother was his best friend, and now they don’t even speak to each other. What is there to say when they’re both drowning in different ways?

“I wasn’t attracted to men before this,” Daniel confesses. “It didn’t make sense to me that they could do that to a person. How can giving someone enough hormones and drugs turn them gay? Remake someone on such a fundamental level?”

“But it does,” Liam agrees. “I was the same. Had a girlfriend for four years before the program. I was gonna ask her to marry me, but figured I should wait. Just in case. They tell us it doesn’t happen to all designated soldiers, and I know plenty of them still trying to cling to their heterosexuality, but for me it was impossible. I came out of the chamber and the first person to help me was a submissive, a gentle twink of a man who was put there for the sole purpose of providing relief to me if I needed it. He’s still one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen, just because he was the first. As if I’d been blind. I went from having no desire for men to being desperate to bend him over and use him for days. It’s a massive head fuck. I don’t know what I’d have become if I’d been forced to be changed and then pretend I wasn’t.”

“And then tortured for months and months over it,” Daniel says, forcing a smile, as if that will make light of it.

Liam pulls the car over, puts it in park and turns to him. “Whatever you want, for as long as I have you, that’s what we will do. No shame. I won’t tell your father or anyone else, but you deserve to experience pleasure, Daniel.”

“Is it, though?” he makes himself ask. There’s a fucking lump of emotion in his chest, sitting on his heart. Will being bent over for days actually be satisfying?

“Is it pleasure? Submitting and being weak? Getting mounted by a Dominant? Yes. It will be nothing but pleasure and release. Relief and joy.”

“And the rougher it is, the more I’m… taken against my will, the better it will be?” Is “taken” the best word in the entire English language? He imagines saying it—“take me, Daddy”—or even more profound would be Liam saying it—“I need to take you now; be good for me.”

His Dominant has not gone down the same mental tangent.

His smile is sad. “Yes, Daniel. For better or worse, that is true. Mentally, it might be difficult to reconcile what your body wants and needs, at first, but yes.”

Daniel has never wanted anything more in his entire life.

Maybe it will be difficult to reconcile the needs of the flesh with how his mind thinks about it. He’s willing to take the risk, though.

11

Another few miles go by, Daniel imagining all the things the man beside him might take.

“Daniel,” Liam says, voice rough.

“Yes?” he asks, voice more breathless than it should be. He clears his throat.

“A good, hard mounting for your first time is military protocol?—”

“Okay. I mean… why?” Daniel asks, curious.

“Because soldiers have reported that they like it that way. Designated soldiers left to their own devices engage in rough sex. Someone with your designation would need it even more.”

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