Nevertheless, here we are.
Tiny lines crease his brow for a few seconds. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks. It’s just a job.”
“A job in California. You get to add a new state to your travel map.”
I fold my hands behind me and rock back and forth on my feet. “I don’t have a travel map.”
He chuckles, scratching the back of his neck. “You should.”
I nod several times, but I’ve lost all momentum. “I miss you,” I say under my breath, my gaze sinking to our feet.
“I’m right here.”
“You’ve never been right here.” With my emotions on full display, my heart can barely muster the bravery required to look him in the eye. It’s a stifling vulnerability that makes it hard to breathe.
“What do you want from me?” he asks.
“I want everything, but I’ll settle for your body.”
The muscles along his jaw twitch, but that doesn’t prevent a tiny smile from touching his lips. “Jaymes, I’m working. Did you show up for a booty call?”
“No.” I bite the inside of my cheek. “Yes.”
He scrubs his hands over his face, but no amount of scrubbing can erase his inflated grin.
“I’m kidding.”
I’m 100 percent not kidding.
With a manufactured smile, I pull back my shoulders. “Maren’s birthday is this weekend. She has to work but thinks she’ll be home Sunday afternoon. I’m going to make her a German chocolate cake. Her favorite. Do you think we should do anything else for her?”
“What about sex?” he says.
I shake my head. “I don’t think she wants that for her birthday. Or are you saying you and Maren should have sex for her birthday? Or all three of us? At that point, it seems unfair to leave Will out of it. Are you thinking of a full-on orgy?” I nod past him. “Maybe check with Gary and Evette. Oh Lord, you can’t forget Mrs. Wilke.”
Fitz rubs his fingers across his lips and glances over his shoulder toward Gary and the rookies running drills. “Jaymes?”
“Yeah?”
“Get the fuck out of here.”
When he faces me again, we share identical grins. I step closer to him. I shouldn’t. Anyone can see that I’m in his space in a way that a friend would not be.
“I will have a life, and it will be phenomenal. I will findhim, and he will be mine. And to do that, I have to let you go.” My gaze climbs up his chest to his face—his oh-so-heartbreaking face. “But I’m okay with you never lettingmego. I hope you think back to this moment when your life feels lonely. And if you only remember one thing, let it be this. On a random Wednesday, the world’s most fascinating woman stopped by your work and offered you sex. But you turned her down.”
I could get lost in his expression. It’s a new one. I’d say it’s something between shock and awe. He reaches for my face, and for a moment, I think he will kiss me right here for everyone to see. I prepare my foolish heart for the explosion of joy from such a public declaration.
But he doesn’t cup my cheek, the back of my neck, or my head.
“Ouch!” I flinch when he plucks a hair from my scalp.
He holds it between us. “For my scrapbook.” His other hand unbuttons the pocket on the leg of his cargo pants, and he deposits my hair in it before securing the button and tossing me a smile that can only be described as wicked pride. “Now I’ll never be lonely.”
When the shock subsides, I reach into my purse without taking my eyes off Fitz. “Here. You don’t need an appointment. We take walk-ins.” I hand him Dr. Reichart’s business card.
He reads it and grins. “Carrot.”