Page 97 of From Air

I listen. What else can I say or do? His wife’s dead. That’s why I don’t mind the days he thinks I’m her. She’s not dead on those days.

“A nurse.” He glances up at me. “She’d be proud, Barbara.”

I smile.

“Do you miss her as much as I do?” he asks.

I nod. “I miss my mom so much.”

“Yeah,” he whispers, trying to pull off his cardigan.

“Aren’t you going outside?”

“I’m tired. Those pills make me ...” He gives up on taking off his cardigan, lying on his side with his cheek resting on his folded hands. “They make me tired. So I”—he closes his eyes—“stay out of trouble,” he mumbles.

I frown. He doesn’t need to be on such strong medications. He’ll never get better if he’s never given a chance to be himself again. No one in this ward is given the opportunity to be themselves or perhapsfindthemselves.

Midday, I take a lunch break and check my messages.

Evette: Laney had a little girl. Riley. 7 lbs, 4 oz. Both are doing great! I’ll send pics when I have some

Jaymes: Great news!

It’s unlikely that Fitz is on another fire so quickly, so I text him by copying and pasting Evette’s message.

Jaymes: Laney had a little girl. Riley. 7 lbs, 4 oz. Both are doing great! I’ll send pics when I have some

Fitz: Don’t be like that. I’m embarrassed for u

He sends a photo of Travis, Laney, and Riley.

“Oh my gosh.” I cover my mouth.

Jaymes: I’m proud of u

Fitz: I did nothing. I wasn’t there

I giggle.

Jaymes: I’m proud of u for having friends who send u pictures of their baby

Fitz: I have friends

Jaymes: Yes. But ur friend is in San Bernardino

He doesn’t respond. Either he’s legitimately busy, or he’s contemplating how to reply. I don’t give him a chance.

Jaymes: Have to go. One of us has a real job

Fitz: Thx for letting me get back to it

I nearly spit out my water. Calvin Fitzgerald makes me laugh. He makes me cry. He makes me swoon. He makes me blush. He makes mefeel.

On my next day off, I visit Edith, bringing her flowers and a charcuterie box to share for lunch.

She lights up after taking forever to open her door. “What a surprise!”

“Hope I’m not interrupting you.”

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