Page 148 of The Apple Tree

I let that happen.

And for that, I felt undeserving of her and her love.

Had I been her father, I would have wanted me as far away from her as possible too.

“Daddy?” Josh whispered as I tried to make it stop.

The pain.

The tears.

The waves of body-racking agony.

His seat belt clicked when he released it, and he climbed over the seat to get to me, wrapping his arms around my neck. “Don’t cry,” he said.

And fuck … if that didn’t make me cry even harder.

“Do you have a boo-boo?” he asked.

I found a smile for him as I wiped my eyes. “Yeah,” I whispered. “Right here.” I pressed the heel of my hand to my chest and rubbed it.

Josh rested one hand on my arm and his other on the steering wheel to bend forward and kiss the spot I just rubbed. “There. All better.” He hugged me again.

I wrapped him in my arms and closed my eyes. “Yeah. All better.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

CHICAGO, “HARD TO SAY I’M SORRY”

Eve

I didn’t wantmy parents to visit me because I was mad at them, but I had the emotional capacity to be equally mad at them for not visiting me.

It was complicated.

And not giving Kyle a piece of pumpkin pie was petty, and not what Jesus would have done.

But they were my transportation back to Devil’s Head on the day I walked out the front door of the rehabilitation clinic, so I was about as happy to see them as a cab driver.

“How are you, darling?” Dad asked before hugging me.

“Cured like a ham. Let’s go,” I said, giving my mom a brief hug as well.

My therapist said it didn’t serve me to hold grudges when I left rehab. I needed to think of my relationships starting with a clean slate. While I did owe my parents an apology for my wrongdoings, they weren’t innocent in the fallout either. But I knew they would never admit any wrongdoing, making it a littleharder for me to be the bigger person and offer an unconditional apology.

“It seemed like a nice place,” Mom said, making small talk on the way home.

I stared out the window with the side of my head resting against it. “Yeah. A real resort. I’ll have to keep it in mind for a honeymoon destination when I get married.”

“I see you didn’t lose your sense of humor,” she replied.

“I just got it back. When I checked in thirty days ago, I had to leave all prescription meds and sharp objects in a bag, along with all funny business. Just got it back thirty minutes ago.”

My parents exchanged a glance. I couldn’t see my mom’s face, but my dad had a tiny smirk.

I sighed and kept my head to the window. I didn’t physically need a drink. No jitters, cold sweats, or racing pulse. But emotionally, the pre-rehab version of me would have been anxious to get home and have a couple drinks to take my mind off Kyle moving.

Leaving me.

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