Page 111 of From Nowhere

“You’re wrong,” I whisper.

“What?”

“You’re wrong,” I say after clearing my throat. “Do you really think we never talked about it? We did. Maybe not in a way that felt real, because you never want to imagine your spouse dying. But sometimes, you lie in bed in each other’s arms, and the love you feel in that moment ignites a fear of losing them. So you have that talk. You tell each other that if something happens and one of you dies, the other person should love again. Love again for themselves. Love again, so Lola sees that theonly life that should end when someone dies is the one who’s no longer breathing.”

Tia stares at the stack of washers and pulls one from the bottom, letting them scatter on the workbench and ping like coins onto the floor. Then she slides off the stool and heads toward the door, stopping when she’s a foot past me. “It should have been you,” she says.

“I know,” I whisper.

Maren: Are you in trouble with Tia? I haven’t heard from you.

I grin at my phone when Maren texts me three days later, just as I drift off to sleep during the ten o’clock news.

Ozzy: What are you wearing?

Maren: Lol your shirt

I murmur, “Liar” while replying.

Ozzy: That would make you a thief

She sends me a picture of her from the neck down in a hotel bed, wearing my white tee with a rip at the bottom where I snagged it on a nail.

Ozzy: What are you wearing under it?

Maren: All your favorite things

This woman is killing me.

Ozzy: Waiting for another picture

Maren: Ha! No way

Ozzy: Tia’s giving me the silent treatment. I don’t mind

Maren: What about Lola?

Ozzy: She adores you

Maren: She adores my cat

Ozzy: I like your pussy too

Maren: I swear to god if you don’t delete this conversation and Lola sees it, I will end you

Ozzy: Have you been flying?

Maren: Every day

Ozzy: Any news on your house?

Maren: I close next Thursday

Ozzy: What do you want me to work on first?

Maren: Me

Ozzy: Ur such a perv

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