Page 158 of From Nowhere

I turn toward my bedroom door, where Tia and Amos are waiting. Tia has tears in her eyes, and her hand is cupped over her mouth. She knows something is wrong from my outburst, and she sees the panic on my face.

“What?” I whisper.

Maren laughs, or maybe she’s crying. I can’t tell. “Ozzy, Lola got into a vehicle, and I know she was scared but so damn brave too. And I didn’t push her to do it. She decided all on her own. I wanted to call you but didn’t want to jinx it or make her change her mind, so we just went with it. I wasn’t driving, my dad was, but he’s a very safe driver, and ...” She trails off, out of breath, her words chasing one another like the world’s longest run-on sentence.

She sniffles. “When we got here, I sat in the back seat with her for five minutes before she whispered, ‘I did it,’ unbuckled, and ran into my house to tell Bandit.” Maren releases another laughing sob. “She wanted to tell the cat first. Thecat, Ozzy.” She laughs some more.

“What is it?” Tia steps into my room, blotting her eyes, face contorted with worry. “Tell us!”

I slowly shake my head and whisper, “She’s fine.”

Ghosts aren’t my thing. I’ve never believed in them, and there’s never been a day where I felt a dead person’s presence. Sometimes, I’ve hoped Brynn was seeing something, like Lola striking out a batter in softball, but I’ve neverfelther—until now.

“She’s fine, Ozzy. You’re both going to be just fine,” Brynn whispers as if she were alive with her lips at my ear.

Over the next week, Tia and Amos pack their belongings. As much as I’ve looked forward to this day, it’s bittersweet.

“She’s what you need,” Tia says while we watch from the porch as Lola follows Amos to the moving truck with the last box.

“I know. You’ve said this repeatedly.” I sigh.

Tia rests her hand on my back. “I’m not talking about Lola. I’m talking about Maren.”

I glance at Tia while she keeps her teary-eyed gaze on the moving truck.

She smiles, dropping her hand from my back to blot the corners of her eyes. “I hope you never lose a child. It changes you. Losing a child crushes your heart beyond repair. When the life you brought into this world leaves before you, happiness dies, and the emptiness in your chest fills with anger as you try to make sense of the incomprehensible.”

She swallows hard and clears her throat. “Ozzy, I’m sorry. I hate the woman I am without my daughter. I hate that I can’t stop blaming you for what wasn’t your fault. It’s like”—she shakes her head—“the burden to make it make sense is too much because it doesn’t make sense. Unless ...”

I do something I haven’t done since Brynn died.

I turn toward Brynn’s grief-stricken mother and hug her. “Unless you can put the blame on me.”

Tia’s body shakes with sobs while her fingers clench my shirt.

“It’s okay,” I whisper. “I can take it from you. I can’t bring her back, but I can carry the burden.”

She releases me, quickly wiping her face. Tia doesn’t let herself fall apart for long. Her pride won’t allow it.

“Maren will never be Lola’s mom.” She eyes me as if this is a fact that I need to acknowledge.

I slowly nod.

“But it’s okay if Lola is her daughter. I want—Ineed—to believe that a strong, brave woman will walk beside Lola while she navigates some tough years ahead. And I believe Maren is that person. I see the way she looks at her.”

I smile. “Maren fell in love with Lola before she fell in love with me.”

Tia doesn’t laugh, but her lips quirk into a grin.

“Pa said I can come visit anytime I want to,” Lola says, skipping toward the porch.

She’s free, and it’s beautiful.

“I insist on it,” Tia replies, giving Lola a big hug. “And we’ll be back to visit. Lots of visits.”

Amos rests a hand on my shoulder and gives me the everything-is-good smile.

“I can’t ...” I press my lips together for a few seconds and swallow past the emotion. There have been so many times over the past nine or so months that I’ve wanted to lose it with them. The guilt and feeling like a failure as a husband and father have created an unhinged version of myself I barely recognized at times. But it doesn’t change the love they’ve given to Lola and to me by being here. I clear my throat. “I can’t find the right words to thank you for putting your life on pause to help us through this.”

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