Page 103 of A Good Book

I WAS YOUR FRIEND!!!!

Pain wrinkled his face as he read my words. Then he slowly nodded. “I’m sorry, Gabby. Had I known?—”

I cut him off with a half dozen hard headshakes.

You knew I loved you. You knew we had sex without a condom. You knew I wanted to be there for you. YOU KNEW!

I stabbed the pen into the dot of the exclamation point instead of Ben’s heart, which was where I wanted to shove it.

His shoulders sagged. “You’re right.”

I didn’t know what I wanted from Ben. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. I wanted the impossible. I wanted to erase the previous seven months. A do-over.

Did you sleep with her?

Ben shook his head, but I didn’t believe him.

“I didn’t,” he said.

Did it matter? I was still pregnant with his baby, even if he did.

“We’re having a baby, Gabby. I don’t know how to do this. I?—”

“No!” I shook my head.

You had your time. Everything was all about you and you made sure everyone knew it. Then you made me feel selfish for having feelings. You’re a jerk. I’M PREGNANT! Not you! It’s about me now. I don’t care how you feel about this. I don’t care if you want this baby or me. You have been selfish! I don’t know if you can ever make this right.

I slapped the pen onto the pad and sat on the edge of my bed. Ben read my note and faced me. It didn’t matter that his expression was twisted with regret. He couldn’t make things right. All I’d wanted was for him to read my letters and come back.

And there he was. I got what I wanted. But it wasn’t good enough.

“What do you want from me?” he asked.

I stopped fighting my tears. The pregnancy hormones were too much. “I want you to hear me.”

Ben squinted, shaking his head.

I laughed through my tears, wiping my face, so I signed the words instead.

He continued to shake his head. “Write it down.”

I slowly lifted my chin and shook my head. “Read my lips.”

“Gabby,” he sighed. “Just write it down.”

I pointed to the door.

He looked over his shoulder.

I flicked my palm away from my body. “Go away.”

“Just write it down.” He tried to hand me the pen and paper.

I brushed past him and opened the door.

“Where am I supposed to go?”

I offered no response, just a blank look. He needed to figure it out on his own. I had my hands full with passing my classes and growing a human being.

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