Page 118 of A Good Book

“Ben. He kissed me and ruined me for Matt or anyone else. I knew it was him, and it broke my heart because I also knew it meant we would have to be everything to each other or nothing. There was no going back, no middle ground. I couldn’t kiss my best friend andjustbe friends. But the feelings that surfaced dumbfounded my heart, and I was scared because I came here for Matt. And my mind was like, what does this mean? What does this say about me? Then he got sick, and I was ignoring—” I choked, cupping a hand to my mouth. Would I ever stop feeling responsible?

Pressing my fingers to the corners of my eyes, I blew out a slow breath. “I avoided Ben after the kiss. And that’s when he got sick. Had I not been so stubborn and immature, I would have known he needed to go to the doctor. And he might still be able to hear.”

“Gabby—”

I shook my head. “I hated him for making me love him. I hated myself for not seeing it sooner. And now I’m pregnant, but I still feel the hate. And there’s all these insecurities that I can’t get past. Does he blame me for what happened? Even if he does, he will never say it. Had I not gotten pregnant, would he be with me? Would he be with Laurel instead? If my foolish heart led me in the wrong direction towards Matt, isn’t it possible that Ben’s has led him in the wrong direction towards me?”

“My dear, Benjamin Ashford is head over heels in love with you. He didn’t go in the wrong direction. Every path in that young man’s mind was going to lead to you.”

“He was interested in Laurel. He only came back here for the baby.”

“And you came to Michigan for Matt, yet you’re having Ben’s baby.”

I frowned.

“Listen,” she held out her hand, and I took it, sitting next to her, “Life is an interpretation of our dreams. You dreamed of falling in love, and life gave you Ben.” Mom grinned before resting her head on my shoulder with a soft sigh. “I want to be nineteen so I can fall in love with a Benjamin Ashford. He’s so dreamy.”

“Stop.” I giggled.

“Well, he is,” Mom said.

I rested my head against hers. “Yeah. I know.”

* * *

My mom stayedfor three days. She took me out to dinner one night and to seePretty Womanthe next.

“I can’t believe you took me to see a movie about a prostitute,” I said, feeling overjoyed that my mom decided to just be my friend for the night.

“Don’t you dare tell your dad.” She laughed, unlocking the doors to the rental car.

“I’m glad you came. I was so nervous about going home at the end of the semester, but now I feel relieved that you and Dad know.”

“Thanks to Ben.”

“Yes. Thanks to Ben, I’m pregnant. Did you and Dad thank him for that?”

“We didn’t go that far.”

When she dropped me off at my dorm, I leaned over and hugged her. “Will I see you before you fly out tomorrow?”

“Not unless you’re getting up at five in the morning.”

“Oof! Nope. I won’t. Love you. Thanks for coming.”

“Love you too,” she said. “Call me more than once a week. I need updates. And let me know what the doctor says after your next appointment.”

I nodded.

“And don’t stress over deciding about your schooling right now. It’s okay to take some time. It’s okay to take a year off and go back to school the following year. Once you hold this baby in your arms, you’re not going to want to let her go for a single second.”

“Her?” I squinted.

“Yes, dear. It’s a girl. I just know.”

I laughed. “We’ll see about that.” I opened the door.

She blew me a kiss before I closed it.

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