Page 119 of A Good Book

CHAPTERFORTY-TWO

KEITH WHITLEY, “WHENYOUSAYNOTHINGATALL”

Ben

I hadto quit my job to get time off to make it to Gabby’s next OB appointment. Joblessness seemed counterintuitive to my goal of supporting us, but working in the meat department wasn’t a long-term solution anyway.

After a thirteen-hour drive, mostly through the night, I arrived in Ann Arbor. It took three knocks on Gabby’s door before she opened it. At first, her eyes widened, and a smile tugged at her lips, but she quickly corrected her reaction with a scowl.

She signed something. I caught the “what,” but not the rest.

“Too late. I saw you smile. You’re happy to see me.”

Gabby crossed her arms over her chest, and I grinned. She looked irresistible in her pink nightshirt, bare legs, and messy hair.

“Come on, Gabbs. I drove all night to be with you. In fact, I scrolled every radio station just to find Cyndi Lauper’s song, ‘I Drove All Night.’”

Again, she fought her grin. “You’re deaf,” she signed. That one I caught.

“Don’t rub it in.”

She went for the eye roll, so predictable. Then she turned her back to me, grabbing her robe and toiletry bag while shoving her feet into white slippers.

“I missed you,” I said, sliding my arms around her, bringing her back to my chest while nuzzling my nose in her hair at her ear. “What time is your appointment?”

She signed, “three,” then peeled my arms from her waist and left the room.

I made her bed and tidied up her desk. A pen was sticking out of a journal, and I fell prey to the temptation of peeking inside.

I don’t trust my instincts anymore. Everything I thought I wanted feels like an outdated fashion trend. How am I supposed to think about my future career when I’ll be a mom in five months?

Before reading the entire day’s entry, I flipped back a few pages.

My mom showed up, and I didn’t know how much I needed her until she hugged me.

I smiled. When my mom told me that Janet had flown here to visit Gabby, I knew everything would be okay.

Again, I thumbed back through earlier entries, not taking the time to read anything in full because I knew she’d be back soon, and I had no business reading them.

Today I heard my baby’s heartbeat. There are no words to describe how that felt. I wish Ben would have been there. I wish he would respond to my letters. It’s funny how I used to dream of marrying Matt and the look on his face when we heard our first baby’s heartbeat. I just never imagined he’d be holding my hand, but the baby wouldn’t be his. Life continues to surprise me. I want this unexpected turn in my life to be a good one, but I don’t know yet. The uncertainty steals my joy.

I jumped, closing the journal and turning. Gabby narrowed her eyes, gaze flitting between me and the journal.

“Him? You tookhimto your appointment?Heheard my baby’s heartbeat?Heheld your hand?”

She nudged me out of her way and wrote on a notepad.

Why were you reading my journal?

“It doesn’t matter. Why did you take Matthew Fucking Cory?”

My journals are private!

“I was straightening up a few things, and I went to pull the pen out and my curiosity got the best of me.” I shook my head a half dozen times. “It doesn’t matter. Why him, Gabby? Do you hate me that much?”

She winced, then reached her hand toward my cheek, but I batted it away.

I dropped my head, rubbing my temples with the heels of my hands. “You gave him something I will never have. Why? Why would you do that?”

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