Page 14 of A Good Book

“Stupid,” I whispered after he shut my door.

He walked around the car and slid into his seat while I laced my fingers together and prayed for God to erase the previous thirty seconds from his brain.

“Well, that’s pretty fucking embarrassing,” he mumbled as the engine roared to life.

I briefly closed my eyes. “I mean, the first time is totally awkward. Right? Not to mention if the first time is in a car.”

Shut up, Gabby!

He shoved said car into reverse and opened his mouth, but quickly clamped it shut. At least five minutes passed before he broke the silence with a soft chuckle. “Did she throw me under the bus? Or did she take a little credit for the mishap?”

“Um …” I rubbed my hands along my jeans. “I don’t remember.”

“Liar.”

I squirmed in my seat. “It was a long time ago.”

“Was it because the condom landed on the floor or that I only had one?” he asked, and I could tell it was bugging him.

Our date was taking the worst possible turn.

“Um …”

“It’s okay.” He shot me a sidelong glance, but I kept my head bowed. “If we can’t laugh at our mistakes, then life will be pretty miserable. Right?”

Perhaps one day I’d look back at this conversation and laugh that I made a big mistake by bringing up the subject, but I had no laughs to spare at that moment.

Matt pulled into the dormitory parking lot. “So how hasyoursex life been?” He laughed while parking the car. Was he making fun of me? Surely, he knew I was a virgin. But how? Did I look like one? Had my mom told his mom that I was saving myself for marriage like a faithful lamb?

“I’m joking.”

I could barely muster a smile past the wave of panic that left my heart racing and palms sweaty as I stepped out of his car. “Ha. Ha,” I managed to say.

“I would never expect you to kiss and tell.” He walked beside me toward my dorm’s entrance.

Had I been kissed, I would have told someone. Ben, of course. Maybe Olivia too, since she was slowly gaining my trust.

“Thanks for dinner.”

We stopped at the sidewalk as a group of guys entered the building.

“I’ll pay for the next date,” I said.

Matt’s lips parted, eyes unblinking.

Oh my gosh.

I said date. It wasn’t a date. I knew it wasn’t a date, but my silly little mind enjoyed thinking it was. And that innocent thought rooted and grew into a full illusion to where I blacked out reality for a few seconds.

I was mortified.

“Dinner. Not a date.” I faked a yawn. “Stupid brain. I’m tired. Olivia snores so I haven’t slept well. Of course this wasn’t a date because you have a girlfriend.”

Matt’s silencekilledme. With my hands tucked into my front jeans pockets, I rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet, eager to run into the building and never see him again. I blew it big time.

He narrowed his eyes. “So itwastrue.”

I stopped rocking. “What was true?”

---