Page 28 of A Good Book

“Liar.”

“You’re the liar.” I turned and pointed my brush at him. “You tried to make me think I was delusional for thinking Matt wanted to kiss me. But I wasn’t. And I know this because he took off my shirt in the bathroom after his girlfriend left in tears because they broke up. And it wasn’t my fault, so before you go pointing any fingers at me, just keep that in mind.”

“Gabbs,” he mumbled, setting his coffee on my desk then leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. His fingers rubbed circles on his temples. “This time I’m being serious. You’re better than that.”

I deflated. “It’s not like that.” My words lost all their fight because I felt so guilty for what happened, even though nothing really happened. I liked Julianne. And even if I hadn’t liked her. I wasn’t that girl.

“I had beer on my shirt. And on my way to the bathroom, I heard something. They were fighting. The next thing I knew, she flew out of his room, in tears, and I stumbled onto the floor because of those stupid boots. Matt helped me to the bathroom. He seemed a little heartbroken, but also like a different person, maybe because he’d had too much to drink. He said things that made me feel seen and wanted. But I didn’t want it to go anywhere. Still, I liked that he looked at me the way he did.”

Ben folded his hands in front of him. “You know when a guy is seeing things clearly? When his heart is most pure? When it’s the best time for him to make big decisions like making a move on the preacher’s daughter?”

I already didn’t like where this line of questioning was going.

“Mere seconds after dumping his girlfriend.”

I could have done without his sarcasm.

“Nothing happened.” Again, I waved my brush at him. “He took off my shirt because I had beer on it. All I’m saying is that he no longer sees me as Sarah’s little sister. Can’t you just be happy for me?”

“No. You deserve better. He had no business taking off your shirt. And you deserve a guy you don’t have to chase. You’re the prize, Gabby. Wait for the guy who pursues you. Don’t forget what your Grandma Bonnie said.”

I had a love-hate relationship with Ben because he knew everything about me and my family. He knew that my Grandma Bonnie told me (and my sisters) to find men who we loved with our whole hearts, but who loved us just a little bit more.

“Ben, why do you think it’s called ‘falling in love?’ It’s because love blossoms into a beautiful garden of intertwined emotions. I don’t think all love is love at first sight. Just because I fell first doesn't mean he won’t fall harder.”

Ben opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

“And if we end up together, married with a family, we’ll look back on this time as part of our journey. All journeys have trials. But we’ll be glad we didn’t give up.”

He scratched his chin while worry lived deep in his brown eyes. “Can I play devil’s advocate?”

“That’s all you play.”

He crooked a finger at me, and after a few seconds of stubbornness, I sulked toward him.

“Sit.”

I sighed and handed him my brush before sitting on the floor between his legs. He brushed my hair like old times, then he braided it. My eyes drifted shut, and I melted into his touch.

“Do you have a Plan B? Is your whole heart invested in Matt, or is your brain stuck? Do you have tunnel vision? Have you shrunk your dreams into this one guy and the life you envision with him, or will you be okay if this doesn’t work out? Because I can support that. I can be happy for my friend, Gabby, who wants something (someone), but isn’t pinning every hope and dream and reason for existing to this one person. It’s okay to imagine a day when you look back feeling grateful that you kept fighting the good fight, but I also need you to imagine a day when you look back and see how letting go of this dream led you to a better place.”

I turned on my knees and rested my arms on his legs. “You don’t get it. Is this just what girls do? You never talk about a girl like I talk about Matt. It’s kind of a downside to being best friends with a guy. Are you crushing on Olivia? I promise I won’t tell her if you are.”

“Crushing?” he laughed. “No.” Then his smile simmered into something akin to sadness. “Gabbs,” he leaned forward and threaded his fingers through my hair, slowly undoing the braid, “I only get one heart. I’m going to protect it for as long as I can.”

“You’re afraid some girl will break it?”

“Undoubtedly.”

I stood and leaned past him to snag the brush from the desk. “Well, if someone ever breaks your heart, she can bite me. I’ll have a few words to say to her.”

Ben lifted his eyebrows. “Is that so? What will those words be?”

I grabbed my hair dryer from the basket on the floor of my closet. “I will tell her that Benjamin Ashford is …”

Ben’s posture straightened.

“I’m not doing this.” I giggled.

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