She nodded.
“Let me braid your hair?”
Tears filled her eyes like they did earlier, but she held them in and sat on the floor in front of me. I braided her hair, loosely ran my fingers through it to undo the braid, and did it again. I repeated this, relishing the way she melted into my touch, missing the sound of her humming like a cat purring. Occasionally, she’d touch her face, and I knew she was wiping tears.
Finally, she turned toward me on her knees with puffy eyes and a somber expression.
“Why the tears?” I asked.
She shook her head.
I framed her face with my hands. “Why the tears, Gabriella?”
Again, she shook her head.
I ducked my head, stopping a breath from her lips; she didn’t move away, so I kissed her. In the next breath, she jumped up and turned away from me.
My parents were back.
I stood, ignoring my mom’s scrutinizing gaze. Yes, I kissed Pastor Jacobson’s daughter. Yes, I kissed my best friend. Yes, I was miserable that everything that mattered to me was gone or about to be hundreds of miles away from me.
I was weak, deaf, and futureless.
Mom wroteReady?on a sheet of paper.
Ready wasn’t the right word for what I was feeling. I nodded anyway.
Gabby held out her hand, and I took it as we followed my parents to the elevator. When we reached the parking lot, words I couldn’t hear were exchanged between Gabby and my parents. After they slid into the car, she hugged me again. I kissed the top of her head over and over.
She leaned back to see my face and mouthed a clear, “I’m sorry.”
I shook my head.
She rested her hands on my chest and her two index fingers came together to draw a heart. I wanted to say “I love you,” but why? I had nothing to offer her. I took her hands and pressed them to my cheeks one last time, closing my eyes and turning right, then left, to kiss her palms. Then, after one last hug, I opened the door and slid into the back seat.
Gabby put her hand on the outside of the window, and I pressed mine to the inside.
Panic raced through my body—panic over forgetting the sound of her voice, her giggles, and the way she called me by my full name when she was feeling goofy. She said the first part really slowly. “Buh-innn”—followed by a quick—“jamin.” I berated myself for wishing she’d shut up about Matt. If only I would have known how much I needed to cherish every word that left her beautiful mouth.
CHAPTERSEVENTEEN
AEROSMITH, “GOINGDOWN/LOVEINANELEVATOR”
Gabby
“Everything okay?”Matt asked over dinner at his favorite Chinese restaurant.
It was a cheer-Gabby-up dinner, and I wondered if my mom put him up to it.
Our food was about gone, and I hadn’t said more than a few sentences, mostly about the recent snow. However, it wasn’t just me. Matt seemed off too.
“I’m fine,” I said. “You?”
He poked around at the rest of his rice and beef. “Yeah.” In the next breath, he said, “No.” With a deep sigh he set his fork on his plate and sat back in his chair. “Julianne finally called me. I hadn’t seen her since she stormed out of the party. She wanted to have dinner. So we did. And after dinner, she invited me up to her apartment to talk, but talking turned into more. But I stopped it immediately.” He eyed me, studying my reaction.
I didn’t have one.
“I told her I kissed you. She asked if it was just physical or if I had feelings for you. And I didn’t know what to say.” He drummed his fingers on the table.