Page 89 of A Good Book

“Merry Christmas, Gabriella,” Alan said, opening the door. “Come in.”

“Thanks. Merry Christmas. Here,” I handed him a plate of cookies, “my mom sent these.”

“They look amazing. Tell her thank you. I think Carmen has something for your family as well. So check with her before you leave. Tillie and Ben are in the back room playing darts.”

“Thanks.” I slipped off my shoes and hung up my coat before heading to the bonus family room at the back of the house that they added the winter before our graduation. There was a pool table, two leather sofas, and a big screen TV.

Tillie spied me first and smiled, but it wasn’t her usual exuberant smile. “Hey, Merry Christmas,” she said.

Ben threw a dart, then glanced over his shoulder. Tillie pinched his arm and pointed upstairs. Then she stopped on her way out of the room and handed me her darts. “You can finish for me.”

I nodded, giving her a smile, but she only managed a weak one in return. After setting the darts on the edge of the pool table, I handed the present to Ben and signed, “Merry Christmas.”

He stared at it. “I didn’t get you a gift,” he murmured without an ounce of regret to his words.

I shrugged, keeping my grin in place despite the uneasiness I felt from Tillieandhim.

Ben tore open the paper and gave the journal and pen a brief inspection. “Thanks,” he said with no emotion.

I looked around and found a notepad and pen on the sofa’s arm.

I’m sorry I didn’t know the right thing to say or do last night. Are you feeling better today?

He read it and grunted. “Better? How would I feel better? I’m still deaf.”

Ben’s moods gave me whiplash. I set the pen and paper next to the darts and wrapped my arms around his torso, resting my cheek on his chest. He didn’t move. It was an awkward, one-sided hug. After squeezing him a little tighter, hoping for any sign of reciprocation, I sighed and released him. Emotion burned my eyes, but I kept it in check.

Please don’t treat me like this after what happened.

Ben stared at the note for a long time before lifting his gaze to mine. “What happened? You mean between us or between you and Matt?”

I narrowed my eyes.

He shook his head. “Don’t insult me by acting like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You were going to fuck him.”

I winced and shook my head again.

“Tillie overheard Matt and Isaac talking after the pageant. You were going to have sex with him, but he stopped it because you said my name. Which is unfortunate because now I’m sure he doesn’t want you, and neither do I, now that I know you had sex with me only after he rejected you.”

I swallowed hard.

“Cat got your tongue?” Ben wasn’t the person he used to be. Losing his hearing turned him into a bitter and cruel human.

My heart ached for many reasons, least of all was his loss of hearing. It was everything he lost in the process: his sense of decency, his manners, and his way in life.

I couldn’t save him, and that felt like its own death. My Ben was gone.

You’ve had sex over 30 times with multiple girls but I’m in the wrong for NOT having sex with the guy I’ve had a crush on for years because I said YOUR name? Please tell me you see the irony in this? THE HYPOCRISY!

Ben crumpled up the paper. I think he read it, but I wasn’t sure.

“We kissed. I had to drop out of school. And I was here dealing with it, and you decided it was a good time to sleep with Matt Fucking Cory?”

I scribbled so hard on the notepad, the tip of the pen poked a hole through the paper.

You wouldn’t write me back! I wrote you so many letters, but you sent me nothing!!!

“Sorry, I was a little busy dealing with my life being turned upside down. But it’s nice to know that if I don’t get back with you, you’ll crawl in someone else’s bed.”

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