Page 9 of A Good Book

While I changed into my pajamas, Olivia inspected me. I could feel the distrust without even making eye contact.

“What did he say?”

“I don’t remember for sure. It gave him a big head. I didn’t want to feed his mega ego, so he tickled me until I said what you and everyone else heard.”

“That he’s a stud?”

I laughed. “Believe it if you want, but I’ve known him too long. I knew him before he had his growth spurt and grew facial hair. I knew him when his voice was squeaky like a little girl’s.”

Olivia tucked her toiletry bag under her arm and opened the door. “And he knew you before you had boobs or knew what sixty-nine was. Oh wait …” She twisted her lips. “That was today.”

“Shut up.” I laughed, following her to the bathroom. “I had boobs before today.”

Both she and Ben knew too many embarrassing things about me. I couldn’t let either of them around Matt.

CHAPTERFOUR

BRENDA K. STARR, “I STILL BELIEVE”

Gabby

If hope were a color,

it would be blue like your eyes

and shine like your smile.

Hope is eternal,

like my love for you.

After a two-year hiatusfrom writing poems and affirmations about Matt, I was at it again. His recent presence in my life rekindled my creativity.

Mylife.

Not Sarah’s.

Not the girl on her way to UCLA (hopefully).

Matt was mine—well, I was working on it.

He deserved someone who put him first and wanted him more than anyone or anything. Patience was a rare trait, but eternal love was the ultimate gift bestowed upon those who truly believed and kept the faith with little regard for time. And no one had been as faithful as me.

I drew hearts next to my poem, gently placed the ribbon down the spine, and closed my journal—my first journal. When I’d lived at home, I wrote my poems in the margins of my Bible or novels where I knew my parents’ prying eyes wouldn’t think to look, not that they would have. I was the favorite child (or so I told myself), the youngest of three girls. Sarah thought she was the pleaser child, but she proved otherwise. Eve hid alcohol by the creek and came home without her panties. I had never been grounded. All my dad had to do was give me a look, and I fell in line.

The knock on my door wasn’t unexpected, but it still felt like my heart might explode from my chest. Matt was here to pick me up for our pizza date. In my imagination, it was a date; manifestation started with imagination and lots of prayer.

After a calming breath, I buttoned all but the top button of my jean jacket and curled my hair behind my ear on one side and then uncurled it.

Curled it.

Uncurled.

“Stop it,” I whispered, fisting my hands to quit fidgeting while briefly closing my eyes. “Hey,” I said, opening the door.

“Ready?”

I bobbed my head, pretending that Matt wasn’t out of my league because he was older, smarter, talented, and gorgeous. “You look handsome,” I said.

---