Page 93 of A Good Book

The thing with God was He didn’t answer prayers directly. I had to look for clues. He wasn’t the best verbal communicator.

“I suppose you think I should tell Ben,” I said, staring at the empty bunk bed above mine in the dark. It was nearly midnight, but I couldn’t sleep. “What do you want me to do when he rejects me againandhis baby?”

I exhaled a deep sigh. “You can think on all of this and get back to me. But don’t wait too long because I can’t hide this baby forever.”

The next morning, I heard someone yell “Ben!” And I jolted out of bed and opened my door. Some guy with red, curly hair hugged the girl two doors down from me. Then they kissed and disappeared into her room. I deflated and shut my door.

“Oh no,” I whispered, reaching for the waste bin and retching twice before expelling the chicken sandwich I ate the previous night. Then I collapsed onto my desk chair.

“Is that a sign?” I whispered.

Whether it was a sign or coincidence, I uncapped my pen and wrote Ben a letter.

Dear Ben,

I know you’re not reading my letters, or if you are, you’re being a jerk and not responding. So I’ll keep this short.

I’m pregnant.

Sincerely,

Gabby

* * *

Two weeks later,after no response, I sent another letter.

Dear Ben,

Here’s a photo from the ultrasound. It’s too early to determine the sex, but I said I didn’t want to know anyway.

Sincerely,

Gabby

When I returned from mailing the letter early Saturday morning, Matt was waiting at my door with a bouquet.

“Hey,” I said, trying to smile past the morning sickness that seemed more all day, not just morning.

“Happy birthday,” he said.

My eyes widened. “How did you know?”

“Your mom mentioned it at Christmas, so I made a mental note.”

I unlocked my door. “Thanks. You’re the first one to wish me a happy birthday. My parents will call around ten. They call me every Saturday morning.” I tossed my purse and keys on my bed and took the vase of yellow roses from him.

“Listen, I haven’t been ignoring you on purpose. I’ve just been really busy.” He slid his fingers into his front pockets, giving me a sheepish grin that said he wasn’tthatbusy.

I smiled with a nod, letting him off the hook. “Hey, I get it. I’ve been busy too, otherwise I would have called.”

He mirrored my slow nod. Neither one of us had to say it. We knew the avoidance was mutual and intentional.

“Are you doing okay in your classes? If you ever need help, the offer still stands,” Matt said.

“I’m good.”

If C’s and D’s were good, then it wasn’t a lie.

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