Page 70 of A Good Book

It took everything I had left, which wasn’t much, to keep from grinning. I didn’t recognize the girl flipping me off. Did I create her? Mold her from my miserable existence? Did I sharpen her with each lash of my tongue?

Her lips moved into a slow and undeniable “fuck you.” For that one moment, I liked not hearing her. It had a grander effect to think she was mouthing the words, craftily clinging to a piece of her Biblical innocence by choosing a muted gesture.

“Did you learn that in ASL?” I smirked.

Keeping her chin high, she pivoted, took all the unopened letters she sent me, and exited my bedroom.

I was the world’s biggest asshole, by plan, of course. I loved her too much to accept her pity. I loved her too much to let her be with anyone but Matthew Fucking Cory.

I loved her too much.

I loved her more than she loved me.

CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR

TEARS FOR FEARS, “HEAD OVER HEELS”

Gabby

“Was your break better than mine?”Olivia asked as we unpacked our bags Sunday night. “My parents spent the whole time fighting. I couldn’t wait to leave.”

“It was fine,” I said, returning to my favorite word.

“Did you see Ben?”

“Yeah.”

“How’s he doing?”

I grunted. “He’s taking self-pity to a new level. I bet he could get into theGuinness Book of Recordswith his level of pity.”

“Seriously? That doesn’t seem like Ben. I thought he was more confident and positive than that.”

“Well, Olivia, it’s not about you and what you think.”

“What?” She laughed. “I didn’t mean?—”

I shook my head. “I’m kidding. That’s just what Ben kept throwing at me. I couldn’t say anything that involved the word I or me. I can’t believe he treated me that way after …”

“After what? Everything you’ve been through?”

“Yeah. That too.”

“You’re acting weird. I told you, I’m not crushing on him or anything like that. You can totally tell me everything.”

I twisted my lips, considering what good could come from telling her. Probably nothing. But I needed to vent. “We did something, and afterward, he was so mean that I didn’t recognize him. Then I did something I’ve never done, and it felt really good in the moment, but now I regret it. I don’t like when someone brings out the worst in me, and that’s what he did.”

She shook her head. “You lost me. What did you do?”

I wrinkled my nose. “I gave him the middle finger.”

“Oh. Wow. You?” Again, she shook her head. “But no. I don’t mean that. You said ‘we did something.’ What did you and Ben do?”

I bit my thumbnail.

Olivia’s eyes widened. “Oh my god. Did you have sex?”

“No. Well, kind of, but not really.”

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